


The Us In Hibiscus

by KittenzCaboodle



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Dialogue Heavy, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Medical Conditions, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Mental Anguish, Mildly Dubious Consent, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Plot, Pre-Threesome, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26805781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenzCaboodle/pseuds/KittenzCaboodle
Summary: Baptiste looked down into the palm of his hand and was startled by the bright red he saw.  He didn’t have to be a medic to knew that seeing reddish pink come out of the body wasn’t a good thing.Glancing around the ship, and finding everyone else dozing away, he carefully handled what was in his hand.  Fingers pried open the wet lump, being mindful not to tear it.His heartbeat began to pound in his ears as he realized what he saw.  A petal.  A flower petal.  One off of a hibiscus, if he had to guess.Hanahaki they called it.  It wasn’t exactly common, more a stroke of bad luck if he recalled what he had read.  A rather dangerous disease.-Fic written for Baptember 2020!  Mind the tags!
Relationships: Jean-Baptiste Augustin/Lúcio Correia dos Santos/Genji Shimada
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25
Collections: Baptember 2020





	The Us In Hibiscus

**Author's Note:**

> A fic written for Baptember 2020. I know it's October. Life happened. Work with me here. I tried really really hard.
> 
> Fic used these terms from the Baptember prompt list:Orphan, Only one bed, Hanahaki, Overwatch HQ, Beach, Dirty Talk, Oral sex, Partially clothed (NSFW scenes take place later in fic) 
> 
> Chapter warnings: Subjects listed below are mentioned in fic in no particular order with various degrees of descriptors. Please also check the tags.  
> *Vomiting. Lots of vomiting. Nausea.  
> *Depression  
> *Dark - near suicidal - thoughts  
> *Discussion of death  
> *Descriptions of the effects of a deadly disease  
> *Descriptions of the effects of the ACTIVE disease  
> *Characters near death at times  
> *Disordered eating / struggling with eating  
> *Hanahaki (I added my own twist to it, but it's still the flower disease you know and probably love to read if you clicked on this fic.)
> 
> If you have any issues reading about any of these topics listed here or in the tags, then this might not be the fic for you. Take care of yourself, even if that means clicking away and checking out other fics! There's only one of you in this world, and you should take care of your cute lil' booty however you need to! =)
> 
> ALSO! This is more of a T rated plot heavy fic with a M-rated scene that bumped up the rating. If you have NO interest in the mature content, it will be tagged with a *** at the beginning and end of the scene so that you can skip it if you want to! If you ARE interested in the mature content, well, there's some to be found in here, so woo! You've got that to look forward to!
> 
> Thanks for checking this fic out! Happy reading! <3

The first time it happened, Jean-Baptiste was coming back from a mission. Overwatch had been kind enough to give him a chance to work with them, heavily in part to Doctor Ziegler vouching for him, and he had been assigned to a simple mission.

Survey the abandoned warehouse for the cargo that Talon was looking to steal - a recently discovered high-tech rifle from the sound of things - and nab it first. A simple grab and go job.

Or at least it was supposed to be.

The crew was pleasant enough. Wilhelm Reinhardt, Ms. Hana Song, Lucio Correia Dos Santos, Genji Shimada, and himself. All competent soldiers that should have made quick work of the mission.

But, as the worst-case scenario expected, Talon reared their ugly heads and showed up in number, with at least three squads worth of men spread out and attempting to surround the Overwatch crew in the warehouse. Baptiste and the crew were caught right in the middle of it.

The Overwatch crew was all highly-skilled, and Baptiste admired them. They had all worked together before and their fluidity was evident. Reinhardt and Hana had perfect synchronization, holding the front line with ease. Genji had left them at some point, when Baptiste had no idea, and was picking off members of the Talon squadron one by one. Lucio managed to somehow bolster the team while keeping them healthy. Baptiste aided in both healing and firepower, watching for the look Lucio would give him when he wanted to focus on speed, silently asking Baptiste to fill the healing void.

Despite the numbers against them, the Overwatch crew succeeded, leaving that warehouse not only with the rifle but also entirely intact. There was nothing else that a medic could ask for. 

On the flight back, Baptiste found a quiet seat on the Orca, buckled himself in, and let his eyes drift shut. Despite the chatter of the rest of the team, all abuzz with the high and camaraderie of a mission success, Baptiste managed to somehow fall asleep.

Sure, mingling with the team after a mission was probably a good way to become more familiar with everyone, but he did plenty of socialization back at the base. He talked to people at meals. He talked to people at the training range. He said good nights to anyone he passed on the way to bed. He talked with Doctor Ziegler a lot too. Responded when talked to. Clearly the model of peak socialization.

His dreams were never exciting. Always playbacks from the missions he had gone on, his mind making him rehearse appropriate reactions and take a second look and see what he could have done better. Ever since he had enlisted in the Caribbean Coalition, his dreams had been nothing but replays of his past.

This time was no different, his thoughts were on not only the latest mission but also wandering towards ones prior. He recalled how Jesse McCree, gunslinger, could wipe a squad by himself, how Genji Shimada could duck into the backlines and strike down a foe before they even realized he was there, how Lucio could effortlessly glide across the field and kick butt on his skates, how Reinhardt stood fast and bared the brunt of battle when he knew his team was behind him, and how many other extraordinaire members were on this squad. He was lucky to be here.

His throat grew tight and he coughed, rousing himself. Something was in his throat, agitating and tickling it, had he swallowed wrong?

Eyes now open, he brought a hand to his mouth and coughed, finally hacking up what was bothering him.

He looked down into the palm of his hand and was startled by the bright red he saw. He didn’t have to be a medic to knew that seeing reddish-pink come out of the body wasn’t a good thing.

Glancing around the ship, and finding everyone else dozing away, he carefully handled what was in his hand. Fingers pried open the wet lump, being mindful not to tear it.

His heartbeat began to pound in his ears as he realized what he saw. A petal. A flower petal. One off of a hibiscus, if he had to guess. He knew very well what those looked like.

Had that just come out of him? Could he have accidentally inhaled at some point during the mission? Maybe in the midst of battle, he had overlooked a flowering hibiscus garden in the old… dusty… abandoned… warehouse? That answered his question for him. Not a chance of that happening.

Which meant that it had just come out of him. He had read about this in some medical papers. Hanahaki they called it. A rather dangerous disease. It wasn’t exactly common, more a stroke of bad luck if he recalled what he had read.

Why did it happen? He couldn’t remember that. He would have to look over some of Doctor Ziegler’s journals once they were back at the base. See what he was supposed to do about this.

There was an urge to wake up someone, to just have someone to talk to about the worries now lighting up his mind. Was it contagious? Would he need to be quarantined? Was there anything he could do?

He didn’t bother anyone, however. Not only would they not be able to do anything, but it would also cause unnecessary stress for the crew.

No. No, he would take care of it himself. Like he did with most things. He loathed bothering people, especially people that he was still trying to make friends with.

So, what was he supposed to do with the petal now? Did he put it back in his mouth? That didn’t seem right. Wipe it on his pants? That wouldn’t hide it. Instead, he stuffed the petal into a pocket on his pants, hiding it in a way that didn’t involve making his digestion system an accomplice.

His fingers now drummed on his thigh as he looked up at the holo-map. Less than an hour away from the base. Good. He certainly wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep now. The sooner he could read about what was going on, the better.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Immediately upon landing, Baptiste helped the drowsy crewmates unload the cargo, partially because he was helpful, and partially as to not draw attention to himself as he made a beeline for the med-bay.

He knocked on the door. Despite how late it was, Doctor Ziegler tended to stay up working throughout the night, especially when she was on the cusp of a breakthrough.

Tonight, though, was a quiet one for her. She sat in the back of the medbay, in a room she had turned into a cozy office, reading.

“Greetings, Augustin,” she said warmly, eyes looking towards him over her glasses. “How was the mission?”

“A great success,” he said chipperly, trying to hide his panic. Was that too chipperly? He hoped not.

“No injuries I take it?” she asked, continuing her reading. It looked like she was in the middle of a romance series she had mentioned picking up again recently. “I wasn’t informed there were any.”

“Not a scratch on anyone,” he assured her.

“Is something the matter then, Augustin?” she asked, “It’s awfully late to be heading here for idle chatter after what I’m sure was a tiring mission.”

“I was hoping to look over your medical journal collection and borrow one for the night,” he said, “I slept on the ship and I’m wide awake now. I was hoping that reading a journal would help me fall back to sleep.

He would ask Doctor Ziegler for advice in the morning. It was rather late to worry her with something like this. Tonight he would just worry himself, reading whatever he could find on the topic so that he could properly discuss it over with her.

“Ah, I do that too,” she said with a laugh, nodding towards the file cabinet. “Take any of them with you.”

Without another word, Jean-Baptiste stepped forward and pretended to be debating which drawer to open. Should he open A-E, F-J, K-N….? Hmm, decisions, decisions…

The F-J drawer was opened and he flipped through the clear files. H32n2V Influenza, H5N1, HAB, _Haemophilus influenzae_ Serotype b, Hanahaki. There it was.

He pulled out the file, and turned it on, swiping through the digital pages and skimming, making sure this would help. It looked informative enough.

“Th-”

“Which one did you pick?” she asked curiously, “Personally, I usually pick a thyroid-based journal. It’s so fascinating how much that small gland controls.”

“Hanahaki,” Baptiste answered honestly. What would he get from lying? A curious look and she would immediately check the cabinet once he was gone. It would just raise suspicions, and he didn’t want that.

“Ah, the infamous flower disease.” she nodded, “A fascinating one. Happy reading.”

Happy reading indeed.

“Thank you, Doctor Ziegler.” he said, heading back towards the door, “Talk more in the morning?”

“I look forward to it,” she said, finally looking up at him once more. “I hope you get to sleep tonight, Jean, but no rush in the morning if you can’t. Take all the time you need in the morning. You’ve already impressed us, don’t push yourself unnecessarily, alright?”

“Of course,” he nodded, walking backwards towards the door, “Good night then.”

Journal now in hand, he made his way back to the bedrooms, walking up the wrong hall before he found where his room was located. He was still trying to learn his way around this maze. Luckily, he knew he had the right hall when he passed by Ms. Song’s doorway, decorated with bunnies and a dry-erase board she always wrote cute, positive messages on.

It wasn’t until he shut his bedroom door behind him that he felt like he could breathe. There were no eyes on him now, no one to have to placate while his mind raced. He could just flop onto a bed, as undignified as he liked, and just exist.

Before the floppening commenced, he did get ready for bed, changing out of his personal uniform and into a pair of soft sweatpants and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he lay out on his bed and held the file in his hands. He switched on the digital journal, now taking time to read the holographic words in front of his face.

The journal was as in-depth as it could be about an uncommon disease that science had yet to understand. He read quickly, skimming for the parts applicable to his situation and looking for the answers he needed.

_The first recorded case of Hanahaki was located in Japan. Disease is not contagious._

_There is no direct cause of Hanahaki disease. No correlation between any of the test subjects, save for a common feeling of a one-sided relationship between the subject and the recipient of their feelings. This does not seem to be a direct cause, however, otherwise, disease would be much more common._

_Symptoms are consistent. Always involves a biologically-created seed appearing in the human body, with a flower slowly blooming in gut. Cherry blossoms are the most common petals, however, flowers can vary by subject. Disease starts with occasional petal being created by seed (the process of that still under research) in and forcefully exiting the body. If relationship with the subject's emotional recipient is not returned in a short time period after first signs, disease will worsen over the next few weeks. Petals will increase in both number and appearance, putting subject at risk of asphyxiation the longer it is left untreated. Increased apathy as disease progresses, short temper, depression, forgetfulness, mental fog, irrational thinking, vertigo, exhaustion, loss of appetite and sense of taste, as well as nausea in late stage._

_All cases ended in either subject's emotional recipient returning their feelings, or in death. Upon autopsy of deceased subjects, flower petals were found in lungs and filling up the abdomen cavity. In rare cases, vines would be found internally as well, spreading throughout the body, wrapping around vital organs, and branching out as far as possible (some vines found up subject's throats, down length of arms and legs, etc)_

_Cures:_ _  
_ _Emotional recipient returning subject's feelings in a romantic context. Relief was immediate and rapid. Seed immediately ceased growth and subject's recovery was immediately underway. They're system was cleared of all signs of disease in under a week, life returned to normal. Lesser feelings or false confessions did not cure or slow disease._

_Direct removal of offending flower. Requires surgery. Subjects that underwent this treatment showed no physical complications. However, removal of flower did result in all subjects losing their previous feelings as well as the ability to fall in love, with some losing all emotions altogether. Link between gut health and brain is being explored. Extreme caution, extensive psychoanalysis, and many waivers advised before this route is taken._

_No other cure found._

There was more to the journals, much more. Details about the different subjects, more descriptions about the disease, a list of the variety of cures they tried to no avail. Lots of information to be found, and yet not one drop of it was the information he needed.

He switched the journal off and placed it on his bedside table. Then he let his arms fall into his lap, staring off into space as he thought about what he had just read and if there was anything helpful from it.

So he was in love? When? Where? How? Who?

He loved everyone here like family. That shouldn't count. The journal had specifically said _romantic_ love.

He wracked his brain, thinking about each member of the crew individually. He admired them all for different reasons. They all had their strengths and charms. Did that mean that he loved them all?

...Did that mean that no one here liked him back? Hanahaki was because of one-sided love. Did it mean that there was just one person here that didn't like him? No. Wait. It had to be romantic, right?

Now he was just getting confused. 

Should he talk with Ziegler about this? Maybe not yet. She would just ask him the same questions he was asking himself. Until he figured out _who_ exactly he had fallen in love with, there was nothing to be done about the flowers slowly filling his gut. How horrifying.

Unless the disease progressed to the point of near-inevitable death, he wouldn't even consider the surgery. What was life without emotions? He hadn't realized how much he adored the feelings of happiness, of love, all the emotions really until he realized how easy they were to lose.

Regardless, there was nothing that he could do tonight except get some sleep and try to figure out more in the morning. He had time. This disease took months. He had time to try to figure things out before he had to bother anyone else about it.

What it was that he was going to have to figure out, however, he had no idea.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

He slept in the next day, having taken forever to finally fall asleep. He didn't rush in the morning, taking his time to get dressed and head out to the cafeteria for breakfast. While he wanted to pretend it because he was indulging himself in the rare luxury of a lazy day, it was actually because he wasn't ready to have to face anyone yet. If he was lucky, the cafeteria would be empty by the time he got there.

Lady Luck was not on his side, however. It seemed like he wasn't the only one who wanted a slow start to his day.

A small number of people sat in the cafeteria. Ana Amari sat at a table with Reinhardt in the back of the room. Hana Song sat with Lena Oxton, coaching her over her shoulder as Lena tried her hand at a handheld game. Genji and Lucio sat in the middle of the room. Genji sat on the table, to Lucio's right, and they shared earbuds as they listened to something. Music, if Baptiste had to guess based on Lucio's rhythmic rocking.

Baptiste decided to sit by himself at the far side of the room and take some time to think.

He had never experienced love before, not in the sense of falling in love anyway. He had never had time or interest to pursue a romantic relationship, with more pressing matters at the front of his mind. Becoming orphaned at a young age, enrolling in the Caribbean Coalition, roaming about without a purpose until Talon scooped him up and gave him a role. After Talon, he had been on the run for so long, trying to stay ahead of an international terrorist group and keep them off his trail. Always in the middle of trouble, he was.

Thinking about it, Overwatch was the first place he had felt at home in a while, where he felt safe, the first place that he could relax and let himself even dare to fall in love. So, realizing that, it seemed like he had a new dilemma. Clearly, he had fallen in love somehow, so now he had to figure out what _love_ like this actually felt like.

He had a brotherly love for his former Coalition Crew, an odd sense of belonging with certain Talon members, and here he felt like he was part of a family. Every step of his journey he loved people. Now he had to parse the romantic feelings from his other over-affections.

Boiling it down to the simplest form, he decided on a question that would hopefully let him figure this puzzle out: who would he want to kiss? 

On the lips, that was. Kiss on the lips. He would kiss everyone here on the cheek, foreheads too...

Maybe this wasn't the best question after all. He was a damn puppy, happy to be among family, his tail wagging and tongue kissing in an affectionate display of overenthusiasm. _Merde._

He turned his thoughts to the people in the room. Would he kiss Reinhardt? No. Too tall, too loud, and taken. Even if neither party, him or Ana, had said anything official, they were obviously together. Ana was out too, she was like a mother to him, and no more than that.

Would he kiss Jack 76? The man had so many names (Jack, John, Soldier 76, 76, commander, Soldier, Commander 76, that Baptiste had been struggling to keep the names straight). Nah. Wasn't his type. Now Jean may not have known what his type was, but Jack 76 wasn't it.

Doctor Ziegler was not a possibility at all. Not in the slightest. It would be like kissing his sister-aunt-mom. Out of everyone here, she was the most family-like to him.

Tracer was gay. Hana was far too young for him. Brigette was... no. Lovely young woman, a pleasure to converse with, but not one he would want to kiss on the lips.

What about the Cowboy? Jesse McCree? No, but a hesitant one. Wait. No yeah, yeah no, he would. He would totally kiss Jesse McCree. But only once. Probably.

Genji? He was charming in his own odd way. Very confident. That was attractive, right? That was something that the books always said was a sexy quality. He would kiss Genji. Sure.

Lucio? He was funny. Musicians were sexy careers, right? His smile was lovely anyway. He would kiss Lucio, okay.

Torbjorn was married. That crossed him right off the list. Omnics were out too.

So, logic dictated it was one of those three; McCree, Genji, or Lucio. Unless he had subconsciously also dreamt about a person from his past. Mauga was quite the man. Akande was also undeniably hot. He had worked with a lot of strong men up to this point in his life. It could be any of them.

The only thing Baptiste knew for sure was that he was far more gay than he realized. That explained some of his confusion about sexual relations. There hadn't ever been a woman he considered a romantic interest. NOW he knew why that was. Oops.

So he had done some decent narrowing down of the possible "who's". Cutting out half of the earth's population was pretty good. Unfortunately, that meant that he still had the other half of the world's population to shift through. Not great.

And this was all even assuming that he had the disease in the first place. Maybe it had just been one petal. You know, a Hana-hack. A singular cough. Just one. And there would be no more to worry about.

Yeah, that's what he would do. He would wait. See if any more issues arose before he alerted anyone. No point in worrying anyone if there was actually nothing to worry about. He would be just fine.

Returning to the present, eyes focusing back on the world around him, he was startled by the large brown eyes staring into his. Lucio now sat across from the table from him, and a quick look to the right revealed that Genji was sitting on his table now too.

Blinking twice, he checked his surroundings. No, yeah, he was still at the far table. He had not somehow traveled into an alternate dimension where he had sat at the table in the middle of the room for breakfast. Lucio and Genji had come to him.

While the two of them coming to his table was surprising, it wasn't surprising that both of them had come together. The two men were very close, always talking together and sharing things. Odds are, on a quiet day, you would find them hanging out together somewhere on the base. They were close like that. Fighting in life or death situations repeatedly had a way of growing companionship among men, and in those two, it seemed to have blossomed into something more for those two, though they had never officially confirmed it. It was one of those that one could just see.

"Hi?" Lucio said quietly, a smile on his lips as Jean's eyes finally focused on his. "You back now?"

"I-" Baptiste gave up trying to come up with an excuse before he even started. “I’m back.”

"Are you alright?" Genji asked, teasing, “You were gone for quite a while there, medic.”

“Yeah, I-” _Now_ he had to come up with an excuse. Others would call it a lie. “I was thinking back over the fight yesterday. You know, replaying things and wondering what I could have done better.”

“We’re all alive and healthy,” Genji said with a smile. His smile was crooked, with the right side of his scarred mouth pulling higher than the left. It was adorable. “I think that speaks for itself.”

“I suppose.” Baptiste shrugged, returning his smile. “We all did a great job.” 

It helps knowing that there’s a solid support line watching your back.” Genji admitted, looking between Lucio and Baptiste.

“Well, it helps when your frontline and tanks support the supports.” Jean-Baptiste countered, “Now, what can I help you boys with? Or was this merely a field trip to watch me in my natural habitat?”

Lucio shifted excitedly in his seat, pulling an mp3 and a set of earbuds out of his pocket. He placed them on the table in front of Baptiste.

“Well,” he began, “You seem like a man with good taste in music, Baptiste. Am I right?”

“I think my taste in music is fine. Others would disagree.” Baptiste said, recalling how Olivia would always raise an eyebrow at his music choices.

He missed her sometimes. All that sass and spunk wrapped up in such a tiny package of pain. Just another casualty of his running away, of him trying to leave his past behind him.

"I'm working on a new track," Lucio explained. His eyes lit up in excitement as he talked, a sight that Jean adored, "Wanna give it a listen and tell me what you think?"

"I'm flattered you want my opinion, but bear in mind I'm no expert."

"Even better. Honest feedback." Lucio said as he pushed the earbuds Baptiste's way, looking at him with those big brown eyes. "Please, dude? I really _really_ want you to hear it."

Baptiste threw up his hands in mock defeat, paying barely any mind to the amused look in Genji's eyes. "Okay, okay, for you." He said, slipping the earbuds into place, "play it for me."

Lucio grabbed the mp3 and immediately after the music began to play. It had a tropical vibe to it, and a much more mellow beat than than his usual tracks. It had a rhythm you could sway to, letting the melody wash over you and chase your cares away.

He ended up listening to the whole song, only taking out the earbuds when all he could hear was silence.

“Whoa,” he said quietly, awe in his voice.

“A good whoa?” Lucio asked eagerly.

“A great big one.” Baptiste assured him, “That was- Wow.”

Lucio bounced in his seat excitedly. “What did you like specifically?” he asked. “See, it’s an early cut. I still have some editing to do, need to punch up some bass, but you think it’s close?”

“I think it’s very close if it’s not there yet.” Baptiste said, “It feels like a perfect day at a beach for me. Warm sand under your toes, a hammock swaying in the breeze, a cold mai tai to sip as you watch the sunset over the ocean, the salty sea air filling your nostrils. A happy, happy place. One of my favorites.”

Genji’s head rested in his hand, his elbow balancing on his crossed legs. “You like beaches, I take it?”

“Adore them,” Baptiste replied with a nod. “It’s one of the things I miss the most about being here.”

“We’ve got a small beach down the road. Like waaaaay down the road, long windy path on down, but we got one.” Lucio said, shifting excitedly in his seat, “We could take you down there one day if you wanna see it.”

“Maybe I take you up on that one day,” Baptiste said, not intending to bother them about it. He was a grown man. If he wanted to see the beach, he could walk down there himself. Still, the offer was sweet.

“Maybe you do. I’ll look forward to that day.” Genji said, swinging his legs over the edge of the table, “Now c’mon, Lu. You got what you came for. Let’s let the pretty man eat his breakfast.”

“Right! My bad!” Lucio exclaimed quickly, standing up, “Just wanted to hear your thoughts on the track, I didn’t mean to waste your time and keep you from eating.”

Baptiste shook his head. “Time spent talking to either of you gentlemen is never a waste.” he assured the two of them, “Enjoy the day. We’re blessed it’s a quiet one.”

With another pair of quick goodbyes, and Genji playfully ruffling Lucio’s hair after he slid off the table, the two men left Baptiste to finally eat his breakfast. Not that they had been keeping him from eating. His own thoughts had been distracting him more than either of them had.

He watched the two of them leave, mind returning to his previous problem briefly before he pushed it aside. For now, there had been no more petals. It was a one-off issue at the time being. Nothing to be concerned about yet.

Who needed to worry about _love_ when one of Reinhardt’s infamous _puddingbretzels_ was sitting on his plate? Not him. Not one bit.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

A week later, Baptiste was in the gym. He was strengthening his arms by fighting a punching bag. Thankfully he was winning.

Behind him, over the quiet music in his earbuds, he could hear the others training in the outside arena. Distant gunshots from the shooting range filled any possible lull in the noise.

There were footsteps. Someone coming under the canopy, probably to fetch a drink from the outdoor fridge.

"Yeah, woo! You clobber that bag, Bap! Give it the ol' one-two!" Lucio cheered as he crossed the room. His words of encouragement brought a smile to Baptiste's face, and he finished his workout with a strong flourish of a punch, ending in style and good humor.

He turned around, pulling a boxing glove off of his sweaty hand and running fingers through his damp hair.

Lucio turned back towards the fridge, pulling two bottles out of the fridge. Starting to close the door with his foot, he hesitated, stopping it before it could close shut.

"You need a drink, Bap?" He called out, eyes returning to the fridge interior. "There's coconut water…"

"If you don't want it and don't mind, I'd love one," Baptiste replied.

Lucio pulled another bottle out of the fridge and started walking Baptiste's way. Jean met him halfway and watched as Lucio shuffled the bottles around to make sure he got the right one from the trio of bottles in his arms.

"What have you been working on?" Baptiste asked, trying to converse.

"Genji's helping me improve my up-close combat," Luci replied, "You know, just in case something happens and I need it."

"Oh, that's a good thing to work on." Baptiste nodded.

"We're still working, if you want to come get some tips," Lucio said, nodding towards the doorway with his head.

"Thanks but I'm good." Baptiste said, "My up-close is practiced. I'm confident in it. Who knows, maybe I could even stand a chance against Genji-?"

"Could you now?" A new voice said, making Baptiste look to his right. Genji now stood off to the far side of the room, watching him and Lucio talk.

Baptiste was proud he didn't scream in surprise. He could never get used to Genji's silent appearances, a benefit from his ninja training. Maybe it was because he didn't always just appear. Sometimes he walked and there were footsteps to hear. He could turn his volume to mute with just a flip of a switch it seemed.

"Care to give it a try then?" Genji teased, stepping closer.

Now Baptiste had done it. He had written checks he couldn't cash within the hearing range of Genji and now he had no choice but to put his money where his mouth was.

"I do." He said far more confidently than he felt. Oh, lord, please it not be too embarrassing.

“I like your confidence!” Genji said brightly, his hand clamping down on Baptiste’s shoulder. He then began to push Jean towards the exit. “Let’s go to the sparring mat.”

Well, _now_ he definitely couldn’t back out. Not when Genji was insisting on them fighting on the outdoor mats. In front of everyone. Dammit.

Lucio followed them outside. As Genji and Baptiste began setting up on opposite sides of the mat, others; attention was drawn their way and they slowly began making their way over. 

Jesse McCree stood against a wall of the shooting range, pausing as he reloaded his revolver, meeting Jean’s eyes with a shake of his head. “Bless your heart,” he said, then looking Genji’s way. “Be nice.”

“There’s no reason for me to hold back.” he said far too brightly, feet moving into a fighting position, “Countdown from three when you’re ready. We go on zero.”

“Wait, before I do. Are there any rules?” Baptiste asked, “No below the belt? No face hits?”

“Do you _want_ rules?” Genji asked with a tilt of his head. “I wouldn’t want to hit your face if you didn’t want me to.”

“I… would rather you not hit the face, but if you must you must,” Baptiste said with a shrug, getting into a fighting position of his own. There were no rules when it came to a real fight, no sense in setting too many in place now. “Three, two, one, go.”

The minute the go-ahead left his lips, Genji was on his feet. Within the blink of an eye, he was in Baptiste’s face, but despite the aggressive position, he began fighting defensively. 

His movements were quick, but he was more focused on blocking Baptiste’s punches than he was getting in hits of his own. His footwork was flawless. Despite how much Baptiste was trying to push him back, Genji was light on his feet, easily resisting Baptiste’s attempt to box him literally anywhere.

He took some swings at Baptiste, but the fact that Baptiste was still on two feet told him everything he needed to know. Genji was taking it easy on him, giving him half a chance to not look stupid in front of everyone.

Baptiste was sure that, to the observers, all of Genji’s movements were impressive. The ninja made fighting look as easy as breathing. He could take a man’s life in the blink of an eye. He knew how to put on a show.

Baptiste went for a grapple, ram into his abdomen. His shoulder connected with Genji’s metal gut, and his arms wrapped around Genji’s middle. His leg slipped between Genji’s feet and he swiped, trying to unsteady him.

It was a textbook play in the guide to brawling; be the man on top in the end. If Genji went down, then Baptiste could try for a pin. In his head, it was the only play he had.

Yet somehow, Genji managed to grasp Jean’s shoulders on the way down, throw his weight sideways, and force them to roll. He was splayed over Jean’s body, weight pressing heavily on Baptiste’s body.

Baptiste bucked his hips, nearly unsettling Genji. The ninja retaliated by slipping his arm under the crook of Baptiste’s knee and leaned forward. He bent Baptiste’s right leg towards his head, pausing to admire how far back he was able to bend it.

“Limber, aren’t you?” he said quietly.

“Yoga. Does wonders for a man’s flexibility.” Baptiste said through gritted teeth.

“Tapping out?” Genji asked, free arm resting on Jean’s chest as he leaned forward to talk to him.

Baptiste’s eyes flitted between Genji’s arm and his reflection in Genji’s mask. He was being cocky, unbalancing himself to silently brag about the position he had Baptiste in. He had a very small window of opportunity here. He had to take it.

“No,” he said, bracing an arm against Genji’s chest and shoving him over, preemptively rolling along with him. He ended up on top of Genji. “Not yet.”

“Love the confidence.” Genji said far too calmly from underneath him, “That is quite the yoga you’ve been doing. Namaste, my friend.”

“Uh, thanks-” Baptiste barely uttered a word before he hit the ground. In the blink of an eye, Genji’s knee pressed against his thigh, and he lay on top of Baptiste’s body, arm wrapped around his neck, pinning him.

There had been a small window of opportunity and somehow it had shut right in front of Baptiste’s face and he had slammed into it.

The fight was over. If Genji applied any more pressure, Baptiste’s breathing would be cut off. Being strangled to death was one of Baptiste’s fears - the thought of slowly suffocating rather than swift, painless death was terrifying and even if it wasn’t, there was nothing more he could do - He tapped out, grunting out a noise of defeat.

The second his hand hit the mat three times, all pressure was removed. Genji instantly let him go, sitting back on his heels as he offered Baptiste a hand up.

Baptiste took him up on the offer, rubbing at the back of his neck with his free hand. “Ah, that was fast.”

“You lasted two and a half minutes.” Genji said, “That’s longer than most.”

“I figured I’d only last thirty seconds,” Baptiste said with a laugh, getting up to his feet.

"Well, I'm glad you lasted longer. I’m good at prolonging a good time.” Genji said, walking off the mat with him. “Anyway, I had fun.”

Lucio stood at the edge, bottles held out for both men to take.

"Brave of you to actually go against Genji in the ring, Bap," Lucio said as Baptiste took the coconut water back from him. "Brave and dumb."

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Baptiste teased as he unscrewed the cap of his bottle.

Lucio handed Genji his drink, watching as he popped off his mask for a sip. "Well, you are." He said quietly, pinching his fingers tightly together and grinning sheepishly at Baptiste as he continued, "Just a lil' bit?"

Baptiste reluctantly had to give him that one. If Genji had less control of his strength, Baptiste could have easily gotten hurt. But he trusted Genji, though, and knew the ninja would never hurt him.

"What are you drinking?" Genji asked Lucio, eyeing his drink.

"Chocolate milk. It's a good post-workout drink because-" Lucio paused, head tilting as he noticed Genji's unwavering stare. "You want a sip?"

"...yes," Genji said quietly, an unopened bottle of water in his hands. "But just one."

Without another word, Lucio held his bottle out. Genji took it and indulged in a small sip, humming contentedly as he handed the drink back.

"Thanks." He said, hand wiping at his mouth as Lucio gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "I-"

"Hey, ninja!" McCree called out, making the trio look his way. "Took you a while to pin the new guy. Ya' outta' practice?"

"I wasn't warmed up," Genji explained simply.

"Can I take a crack at you then?" McCree asked, "See if I can get a new record of staying upright?"

Genji glanced at Lucio and Baptiste for a brief moment before he held his water out for Baptiste to hold.

"Okay." He said, returning to the mat. He stood across from Jesse, who had also gotten in position. "Countdown when you're ready."

"Three, two, one!" Jesse said enthusiastically, "Bring it!"

They moved towards each other. Jesse may have been a big man who knew how to throw his weight around, but he was light on his feet. Not as light as Genji, but few were. 

Jesse was quite the adept fighter. Baptiste had seen him in up-close combat on the field, and he had every right to act as confident as he fought. One well-placed punch and he could have a man flat on his back.

Genji and Jesse must have had a history, though, because as much as both of them excelled in combat, they knew each others’ moves.

It didn’t last long, though. One moment Jesse had the upper-hand, getting Genji in a headlock under his arm, the next there was a thud as he hit the mat, pinned down by Genji. The fight had lasted less than a minute.

“Haha, ow.” Jesse laughed, his good nature even seeping into his defeat, “I thought you said you wasn’t warmed up.”

“I wasn’t before.” Genji said, looking up Baptiste and Lucio’s way before he looked back down at McCree, “I am now.”

“Well, shit.” he said, slowly getting back up to his feet, “I’ll beat you one day.”

“I’m looking forward to it!” Genji said brightly, offering Jesse a hand, “That’ll be quite the match! A tale for the ages. They’ll put your picture up in the hall of heroes, songs will be written about the fight-”

“Overselling it a bit there,” McCree said as he stood back up, hand rubbing at the back of his head.

“Am I? I was just trying to motivate you.” Genji paused, changing his tune, “They’ll pour you victory shots of whiskey?”

“ _Now_ you’re talking.” Jesse said, lightly punching Genji’s arm affectionately, “For now, though, I’m gonna go take a loser’s shower.”

“I think I’m done training as well.” Genji nodded, looking towards Lucio and Baptiste. “Are you both done?”

“I am. Probably should go clean up now,” Lucio nodded, continuing on down the chain, “You done out here, Bap?”

Baptiste debated for a moment. “Almost.” he said decidedly, “I think I’m going to do a cooldown lap first, gradually lower my heart rate rather than just stopping. It’s better that way. Another ten to fifteen and I’m heading back in.”

“Sounds cool.” Lucio said, skating towards Genji, who had paused at the doorway inside.“Later, man!”

Waving over his shoulder, Baptiste began walking around the track at a brisk pace, gradually slowing down to a calm stroll. As much as he enjoyed talking with others, there was something about an easy stroll in a cool breeze that made him feel content. Lonely, but content.

By the time he began heading into the showers, the others seemed to be heading out. Jesse was pulling clean clothes onto his damp body, and Lucio was digging through his locker, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Genji sat on a bench, and the three men were talking.

“Maybe I should take up yoga again.” Genji was saying, “I used to do it more. Haven’t for a while.”

“You don’t? I thought you did.” Lucio replied, “Isn’t that what you do in the mornings?”

“What? No. No, that’s meditation.” Genji explained. “Mentally finding inner peace rather than physically. Doing both could be beneficial. I’ll talk with Master Zenyatta about it later.”

Ah, the omnic monk. Baptiste knew that Genji had a weekly call with the Shambali monastery. Apparently, the ninja had specifically cited wanting a channel of communication open with his mentor if he were to stay here at the base. Baptiste had yet to speak with the omnic himself, but he had heard nothing but praise for him and knew that he was one of the most important people Genji had ever had in his life. Maybe one day he would be lucky enough to speak to him.

“You, uh, still talking with him about- uh,” Lucio paused uncomfortably, “...About your brother?”

The question brought a brief silence to the room. Jesse glanced at the pair out of the corner of his eye, like a protective older sibling, hands pausing in the middle of buttoning his shirt.

“I do.” Genji finally answered.

Lucio didn’t hesitate. “Why?” he asked, “Why waste your time?”

“It’s not a waste of time. It never is. Hanzo is making progress, I feel it in my heart.” Genji replied, “He is trying to move forward. I have forgiven him, but he struggles to forgive himself. I want to make sure that I’m ready to greet him with open arms when that day comes, to help him make it all the way.”

It was odd to see Lucio’s face without any kind of smile on his lips. Instead, he was frowning slightly as Genji spoke. His shoulders slumped as he shook his head, eyes rolling tiredly. 

“Do what you want to do.” he said, pulling a shirt over his head, “That’s all I’m gonna say, man.”

Genji said calmly, “Don’t burden yourself with anger you don’t need to bear. Why weigh yourself down unnecessarily? I have no quarrel with him any longer. Don’t try to pick a fight in my honor.”

“I just don’t get it, Genji.”Lucio began, “How-”

“One day you’ll understand, Lucio, I’m sure. You’re not the only one I’ve had to make understand,” Genji cut him off, briefly glancing at Jesse. With a not-so-subtle subject change, one that made even McCree relax, he continued. “How’s your latest song coming along?”

“It’s coming along,” Lucio said simply, pulling on a pair of pants under his towel. “Hey, Genji?”

“Yes?”

“If you start learning yoga, teach me some moves.” Lucio said, “I’d love some inner peace.”

“Of course.” Genji said, standing up from the bench, “You’re still going to make us post-workout smoothies, aren’t you?”

“Need to double-check this recipe with Ang and make sure she gives it the okay for you.” Lucio said, shutting his locker, “If she gives us a yes? It’s on.”

With that, the three men headed out of the room. It wasn’t until Baptiste heard McCree’s footsteps and Lucio’s wheels down the hall (Genji he knew he wouldn’t hear) before he finally rounded the corner into the showers and began to strip.

As much as he liked to believe he was a part of this team, there were times that he knew his presence would be a distraction, that there were conversations he should take no part in.

He was aware of the history between Genji and his brother. He didn’t know all the details, but even just the vague details - that Hanzo killed Genji - he could understand Lucio’s frustration. At the same time, he could admire Genji’s patience towards Hanzo. Both feelings were entirely valid.

But all that conversation had done was remind him how much he felt like an outsider. As much as he adored this team, and as much as he felt like they were his new family, he was never sure that anyone else felt the same.

Perhaps it was from being orphaned at a young age, or running with make-do families for all of his life, but he never felt like he was ever part of the group. Always an outsider, lucky to be included in the occasional jokes. That’s what it felt like.

At least they were all friendly, he thought as he stepped into the showers and cranked up the hot water, at least they all seemed to care a bit. It was an odd place to be, outside looking in, giving but never feeling like he was allowed to take. But he couldn’t think of anywhere else he would rather be.

Talon had been, for lack of a better phrase, good enough. It had been a corrupt organization, yes, but it wasn’t much different from Overwatch, not that he would ever admit it. 

A group of people, fighting with their hearts and souls for what they believed in. People that wanted to make a difference in the world. Not everyone there had been evil - he hadn’t meant to be - and not everyone that was a part of Overwatch had been good. They were both similar. No wonder they both felt like home.

From the people he had met through Talon, Olivia, Mauga, and the crew he ran side-by-side with, to the men and women he fought alongside here, Genji, McCree, Lucio, Reinhardt, and all the others, they had all meant something to him at some point. Some more than others, some he despised, and some he loved still. Maybe one day he would feel like he belonged, like he was allowed to take, but today wasn’t that day. Not yet.

It had been a perfect day for him so far. If only it had ended there.

As he turned the water off, his stomach grew tight with a strong clench that he knew signaled vomit. He fell to his knees before he could slip, and bent over. Hands fighting to hold him steady on the slick tile, he dry-heaved.

He would feel better once it was over, he told himself, praying it was true. The thick mass weighed heavily in his throat. With enough gagging, he finally pushed it out.

Eyes widening in horror, he looked down at the sticky mass of pink petals, stuck together with bile. The small pile was hideous, taunting him, making his empty stomach churn in fear.

That one petal hadn’t been a one-time fluke. He was infected, dying a slow death, with no possible answers coming to his panicked mind. 

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

The plan had been to talk to Doctor Ziegler at the earliest convenience, once she returned from her mission. This disease was something that he could no longer ignore. She would have some advice, or at least that was his hope.

That had been the plan. Keyword _had._

The mission she had been a part of had been a rescue mission. They had picked a signal from another agent and sent a unit out to search and rescue before Talon could get there first. It hadn’t been an entirely smooth mission, there had been fights, but it had been successful and everyone had returned in good health. What more could you ask for?

The agent rescued was a sweet girl. Mei was what they called her. Many here were familiar with her already. Despite only just arriving, her adorable sweet demeanor fit in effortlessly. She and Doctor Ziegler seemed to be _very_ good friends.

Baptiste hadn’t realized how much he loathed bothering people before now. Not until he was watching Ziegler’s eyes light up as she spoke with Mei over tea, her enthusiasm bright and smile contagious. Not until he forced himself to swallow down the question he had been rehearsing for the last week and a half. 

It had been ages since Baptiste had seen Doctor Ziegler so happy As positive as she could be, the genuinely blissful moments were rare. He couldn’t take that away from her. Not so soon.

Besides, waiting a few days wouldn’t kill him. The petals had been rare over the last eight days, since he had vomited in the shower, only appearing four times. Nothing to be concerned about at all.

Soon. He would tell her soon. Just… not yet. 

He would keep researching, keep pondering about who he could possibly be in a one-sided love with, and try to have some information for her when he finally talked about it.

That had been the new plan. Keyword **_had._ **

It was during a reading session a week later, where he was laying on his bed, reading yet another medical journal about the unsuccessful studies into the disease, when there was a heavy pounding at his door.

Heart rate shooting up, he turned off the digital file, stuffing the reader in his dresser drawer before he opened the door.

Genji stood outside, chest heaving an indication that he had sprinted down to his door. It was startling to see the normally reserved ninja so panicked.

“What’s going on?” Baptiste asked, brows furrowing as he looked Genji over.

“Are you cleared for mission?” Genji asked breathlessly.

“Yes.” Baptiste couldn’t help but wonder if he still would be if he had talked with Angela already. “Did they call a mission? Now?”

Genji nodded, panting as he tried to catch his breath. “They found him.”

Baptiste stepped out of his room. “Who?”

“Hanzo.” he answered, “They found Hanzo. We’re pulling together a crew now. Talon is on a contain or kill mission; if they can’t pin him down, he dies. I can’t let that happen. We’ll need support. I know it’s sudden, but most of the others are on a different mission. Can you come-?”

Baptiste wordlessly stepped back into his room, pulling on his boots and putting on a proper shirt. “My gear’s by the ship,” he said, heading back out into the hall and shutting his door behind him. “Let’s go.”

Before he knew it, he was on a ship flying out with a skeleton crew. Genji, Lucio, Hana, McCree, and himself.

He knew how Lucio and McCree felt about Genji’s brother, so seeing them on the ship was surprising. At least at first it was, but then he thought about it. There was a chance that they were just here for Genji, to make sure that he made it through this mission alright.

Or maybe they were like him? It would be easy to judge this Hanzo based on what he had heard, but could he though? Could he really? Could he really condemn a man who blindly followed what he was told to do, falling in with the wrong crowd, and making regrettable decisions until he tried to better himself? Then he might as well be condemning himself.

He had been given the gift of a second chance. It would be hypocritical not to extend it to others like him.

The flight was tense. As a former Talon agent, Baptiste knew that if Talon had issued a “capture or kill” command, the situation was dire. If Talon wanted a target alive, killing would never be on the table, it would be capture target or die trying. By issuing permission to kill, Talon had drawn a line; if they couldn’t have the target, no one could.

He wouldn’t say that to the crew. But he got the feeling, from the tense atmosphere, he didn’t need to. The others knew it too.

As Baptiste mentally prepared himself for the ensuing fight to save Genji's brother, with the lives of all his crew members in his hands, a terrifyingly familiar lodged in his throat.

Another wad of petals was trying to make its way out. As much as he wanted to expel them, releasing the mass from his body, he couldn't.

He was listening to the mission brief, the slapdash plan of action put together, sprinting away would draw attention and distract. Expelling them in front of everyone now would panic the crew. He only had one option.

He forced himself to swallow it back down. It felt like a thick sludge pooling down his throat, and the mass weighed heavily in his gut. His stomach churned at the sensation.

He would pay for it later, and that was fine. Just… hopefully much later. Much much later when he wasn't in front of everyone 

They finally landed and made their way into an abandoned shipyard. Reports had said that Hanzo was around here, running from the Talon agents on his tail. With the abandoned warehouses and equipment scattered about, it would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

The search seemed hopeless until a shot rang out across the way. As soon as he heard it, Genji went racing off, climbing up buildings and making a time few could keep up with.

Baptiste raced along on the ground after him, the others following behind. Talon must have some intel of their arrival, though, because a squad came out to meet them.

Over the sound of gunfire, Baptiste heard the roar of an engine behind them. Then there was a thunderous thud and Baptiste peered over his shoulder. Eyes widened as he gazed upon the heavy assault unit and another squad that had been dropped behind them.

They had come ready with big guns. Heavy assaults weren’t an everyday-mission fare. All of this for Hanzo? Or had they just anticipated Overwatch arriving? Maybe both?

“Follow the ninja, Augustin, keep him safe,” McCree ordered, elbowing Baptiste in the last direction that Genji has run off in, “We’ll clear out this group and follow after.”

The ensuing fight was chaotic, but Baptiste wasn’t worried about moving forward. He knew that everyone could handle themselves. Even as two agents boxed him into an alleyway as he chased after Genji, he wasn't worried. He knew how to win his own fights and he did, easily beating the other two men. No problem at all.

No, he wasn't worried until that gut-wrenching feeling returned. Hand clamped to his mouth, he fell to his knees and tried to swallow it back once more.

"Hey." Said a familiar voice. He turned his head just enough to catch sight of a familiar pair of boots. Olivia, aka Sombra, stood behind him.

"Yeah, I'd get sick too if I had to work with those Overwatch agents." She was saying, "No, but seriously, what kind of Organization is making you work sick days, Augustin? Talon gives paid time off. Hell, I bet Overwatch doesn't even have dental-"

Baptiste retched, unable to hold back the pile of petals any longer. The sticky, pink blob sat in front of him, and he gagged unsure if there was another round coming out. Thankfully, there wasn’t.

Olivia had stopped talking, and as he turned he could see her staring at the puke in horror. She recognized what it was.

“No.,” she said quietly, shaking her head. Her voice grew into an angry whisper yell as she continued, “ _NO!_ ”

Baptiste wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, coughing at the bitter taste on his tongue.

“Not you, Jean, not you. Why?” she said, realizing what this disease meant. Just because it wasn’t common didn’t mean that it wasn’t known. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know.” he managed to say.

“No, don’t you- tell me who it is. Tell me!” she said, “I’ll find something on them. I’ll make them love you. Just tell me who it is, Jean-”

“I’m telling you the truth, Olivia, I-” he paused to gag again, feeling another round of petals clawing at his insides, “I don’t know.”

“ _NO_!” she quietly screamed, kicking his ass. He could understand her anger and was well aware of her temper. The two of them had a history, and even if they were on opposite sides of the fight now, they were still friends. She was furious that, despite how had made reality her bitch, there was nothing that she could do for him. He just wished that she had kicked a metal barrel instead of him.

After catching himself before falling on his face, he had turned around now and was sitting on his sore bum, hand holding his head.

“What are you going to do?” she asked, staring down at him, “You’re gonna figure this out, right? Right?”

“I… would love to.” he replied, “As soon as I figure out, I’ll try, but there’s no guarantee anything will work out.”

Her lower lip stuck out. Her eyes drifted from him to her gun, then back to him, as if she was deciding whether it would be better to mercy kill him here or let him suffer. Her arms fell back to her sides and she sighed.

She glanced around the area, “I’ll lead them away from you. See if I can convince them you went somewhere else. They can’t capture you, Moira would-” 

She paused to gulp nervously, not needing to explain to him how the mad scientist would use Jean as a test subject to explore the final effects of Hanahaki. They both knew.

“Go retrieve the Shimada. Head out the alley and go left. That’s where they were fighting last.” she continued, watching him get back up to his feet.

“Why are you helping us?” Baptiste asked.

“Not ‘us’. You.” she said, “You can’t be wasting time here, Jean. You need to get back and figure this out.” 

“You’re giving up Hanzo?” he asked, “Just like that?”

“To be perfectly honest, the last thing I want is yet another depressed emo co-worker.” she told him, “He may not dress like a goth, but he is emotionally constipated and his soul is painted black. I help you capture him, and what? Moira tortures and brainwashes him, there’s a pissed-off brother, and I get another coworker that has the emotional range of a toaster. No thanks. Take him and go.”

She meant it. Despite how much she buried her words under sarcastic bantering, she was sincere. She was giving him a freebie, and it was Genji’s brother to boot.

“I owe you one,” he said.

“Consider it a freebie this time. Don’t worry about it. Worry about yourself. I can’t lose you too.” she said, waving her hand and cloaking herself. Her disembodied voice offered one last word of advice before she vanished entirely. “Mind the rooftops. _The Spider_ is here too.”

Widowmaker. This had really been a capture or kill mission. Bringing the best sniper in Talon to fire a kill shot if mission unsuccessful…

He had to move. He had to go find Genji and his brother _now._

Running along the path Olivia had told him to - he had no reason not to trust her at this point - he managed to locate Genji and Hanzo.

The two brothers were on opposite sides of the field, each having to fight their own battle. Genji was the closer of the two, so Baptiste helped him fight through the small crowd of Talon agents. He never looked too closely at the Talon agents he fought, he feared he would recognize the face under the helmet.

Genji raced across the field, sword in hand as he cut through anyone who stood in his way. The way Hanzo was standing, he looked exhausted, being the target of a manhunt could do that to a fellow, and he was going to need all the help he could get. Despite how efficiently he was holding his own, his arms had to be exhausted from firing his bow that quickly.

Genji made his way to Hanzo’s side as the elder brother finished pulling an arrow out of his freshest kill, his supply running low. The two brothers looked at each other silently, eyes speaking everything their mouths didn’t.

“Hanzo?” Genji finally said.

“Genji,” Hanzo replied stiffly.

“Yeah,” Genji nodded, holding his hand out. “Come with?”

Hanzo looked at the extended hand and shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can,” he said, taking a step closer. He stopped, leaning back as Hanzo’s eyes moved north, his stare darkening, and Genji's tone was now tainted with concern. “Hanzo?”

“Genji!” Hanzo cried, his movements quick as a flash. A shot rang out as Hanzo shoved Genji aside. A bullet ripped through his middle, blood spilling from his body.

Widow had been given the order and taken the shot. She had targeted Genji, pegged his turned back for an easy shot, but Hanzo had spotted her and shoved Genji out of the way.

The elder brother hit the ground. Genji was surprisingly slow to turn around. Was he in a state of shock of seeing Hanzo fall? That just made him an easy target too.

Baptiste had his hand on his immortality shield, but before he could throw it Genji’s way, the rifle fired again. Genji whipped around, sword in hand, and reflected the full-power shot back at her. Following the trail the bullet had taken with his eyes, he saw Widow fall. He had wounded her, they would have a moment’s peace.

At least they would from Widow. Their location must have been radioed to other agents. They needed to move before reinforcements came.

One Talon agent must have been nearby because he began to charge towards the two brothers, machete in hand. Could Genji defend both himself and his wounded brother? Baptiste didn’t want to find out. His bullets wouldn’t stop the armored man soon enough, he had to stop him some other way.

Immortality field still in hand, he hit a switch on his pack and popped up his amplification matrix. He hurled the immortality field though the matrix. The field launched through the matrix, connecting solidly with the Talon agent’s head. The doubled damage was enough to knock the agent out despite his armor, cutting down the only nearby threat. Genji and his brother were safe. For now.

Baptiste crossed the distance between him and Genji. The bullet had ripped cleanly through Hanzo. The blood loss was bad. All he had time for was a quick patch job, enough to slow bleeding temporarily, but it wouldn’t be enough. They had to get back to the ship. Now.

Baptiste crouched and applied med-patches to the bullet entrances and exits. The blood flow would flood the patches soon, but it would buy them time.

“Genji?” Hanzo said quietly. The younger brother turned around to face him. Hanzo silently looked him over. “Good.”

“Good?” Genji asked, barely managing to keep his voice steady.

“You’re still standing. That’s good.” he said, coughing and choking on his own blood, “I never want to see you fall. Never again. I’m glad I won’t have to.”

“No. No, Hanzo-” Genji was saying, crouching down next to his brother. He grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. “Stay with me. Please.”

“Fly away, sparrow,” Hanzo mumbled, eyelids fluttering shut, “Fly away.”

Unconsciousness was setting in. The one good thing that was happening right now was Jesse McCree crouching down next to him, That meant that the team had won the fight and the path back should be clear.

“Bullet hole. Ain’t a sword slash.” McCree noted, looking Baptiste’s way, “He good to move, Jean-Baptiste?”

“Wound wasn’t near spine. Bandages in place.” Baptiste gave him another quick once over, “He’s good.”

“He don’t look too heavy. I’ll carry him and his pack.” McCree offered, “What got ‘im?”

“Sniper. Widowmaker. Could still be around.” Baptiste explained, helping shift Hanzo into Jesse’s arms. “You good?”

Jesse tested his grip. “I’m good.” he tilted his head into his shoulder, buzzing his earpiece on, “Watch rooftops. Could have snipers. On it, Hana? Good. Thank you.”

Then McCree turned to Baptiste, “Your task is helping get Genji out.” Jesse said, “Eyes peeled, stay aware.”

“I can take care of myself.” Genji hissed, moving into McCree’s line of sight. His body was tense. Even Baptiste could tell that, behind the mask, he was barely holding it together.

Jesse was silent for only a moment. “I know you can, Genji.” he said, “That’s why I need you and Jean here to help me and him get out. Can you do that?”

“I can do that,” Genji said. His hand flew past his mask in the blink of an eye. He was trying to wipe away a tear, but his visor was blocking him. He didn’t try again. “Go.”

Their exit was unhindered. Olivia had been telling the truth about misdirecting the other agents. Baptiste hoped it didn’t come back to bite her.

They were back on the plane before long, with Jesse laying Hanzo out as Baptiste instructed. Jesse then went up front to set the autopilot in motion, to get them back to base ASAP.

Baptiste had been right. The bandages had started to bleed through. Pressure needed to be applied to the wound. Both of them.

“I need help,” Baptiste called out, realizing that he only had two hands and this was a four-handed task. “Someone-”

He looked up. Genji was standing in the middle of the ship, looking like a lost child. He wanted to help, Baptiste could feel it, but he couldn’t make himself walk over there. Not that Jean could blame him. Out of the hundreds of different conversations he had rehearsed with his brother, he doubted Genji had ever prepared for this outcome.

Much to his surprise, Lucio came racing over, sliding to a stop on his knees right beside him.

“Tell me what to do.” he said to Baptiste, eyes looking Hanzo up and down, “I just know how to make people feel better, I don’t know the technical stuff. Tell me what to do, Jean.”

And Baptiste did. He gave the orders necessary to keep Hanzo breathing, managing to pry his blood type out of a mentally collapsing Genji and send Lucio to the fridge for a pack for an emergency blood transfusion.

The bullet shrapnel would have to be removed at the base, the internal damage sewn shut there too. He didn’t have the tools for that and he couldn’t risk making Hanzo bleed out faster. He did as his medical training had taught him; keep the patient stable, because dead patients can’t be cured.

Someone must have radioed the base of the emergency because Angela was waiting with a gurney at the landing area. As Jesse helped move Hanzo into the gurney, Baptiste turned to Lucio.

“Thanks for the help, I need you to do one last thing.” he was saying, “Stay with Genji, keep an eye on him. I’ll meet up with you after the surgery.”

Then he went racing along the hall, pushing the gurney with Angela. Thankfully, Doctor Ziegler was taking charge of the operation. Baptiste was too frazzled to think on his own, but he could take orders with the best of them.

Despite the beeping machines around them, he could still hear the sound of Genji sobbing in the far corner of the ship. It hadn’t been loud or dramatic, quite the opposite.

A quiet sniffling full of wheezy, shallow gasps. The sound of a man trying to hold himself together and failing. He had been hunched over in the corner, arms wrapped around his middle as he curled into a small ball. Baptiste knew he had put a lot of pressure on Lucio about talking with him, but if anyone could help stabilize Genji, it would be him. Or McCree. Maybe together they could do it.

And thank heavens for Lucio. Baptiste wasn't sure he could have kept Hanzo alive if it wasn't for his help.

Angela headed the operation, with Baptiste assisting. He handed her the tools she needed, kept an eye on the vitals, and kept Hanzo stable.

As they neared the end of the operation, a familiar churning filled his gut.

No. Not here. Not into Hanzo's open body. Could Hanahaki be spread via forced contamination? Baptiste didn't want to be the man stupid enough to find out.

Despite the surgical mask on his face, he wasn't sure it would be enough to stop the overflow of petals. Pausing his hands for a moment, he forced himself to swallow down the wad once more.

His stomach was racked with pain at the sensation. The Hanahaki didn't like that. He was going to pay for that later.

 _Later_ came sooner rather than later. As Angela finished sewing Hanzo shut, disinfecting and bandaging the stitches, the feeling came back. Three times as forceful, the message was clear; it wouldn't be denied again.

It was all Baptiste could do to rip his mask off as he raced over to the sink. Hands clutching the counter, a massive pile of petals spewed forth. They sat in the bottom of the chrome sink, taunting him as he tried to figure out if the sensation had mercifully ended yet.

“You should get some rest, Baptiste. You must be exhausted.” Angela was saying as she walked over to him. She placed a comforting hand on his back, “How ill do you feel? Does anything hurt-?”

Her words died off as she stood next to him, gazing at the sticky mass of petals in the sink. Her wide eyes blinked and she slowly pulled off her mask with her free hand. Though the smile on her lips was warm and comforting, the look of smoldering rage and utter panic in her eyes scared Jean.

"Ah." Was all she said, "wash up and step into my office, please. Grab a drink from the mini-fridge if you'd like. I'll finish up here. We need to talk. Privately."

Baptiste gulped, well aware that there was no way out of this one. There was nothing he could do but follow her orders.

Washing his hands and arms, he stepped into the cozy office. The small room had never looked so small and terrifying before.

It wasn't long before Angela stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. There was the soft sound of the lock clicking into place. She wasn't letting him out of here without talking first.

"So…Baptiste. Jean." she began, "When were you going to talk to me about… this? 

"I… soon." He promised, feeling like a scolded child. "There was just never a good time and-

"So when was it going to be a good time?" She asked, fighting to keep her tone even. "Were you ever going to talk to me or was I just supposed to find out when vines were gouging your eyeballs from the inside out?"

Baptiste winced at her words, trying to block out the image of the flower internally tearing him apart. Angela noticed and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I shouldn't have-...How are you feeling?"

"Fine." he lied, just wanting to leave.

"Good. Good. I'm glad you're not hurting." she walked past him, heading to her cabinet of files, "I have some journals on Hanahaki. Let me look at them quickly."

Baptiste wordlessly watched as she flipped through the files, pausing where it should be. He had been "borrowing" her files on the topic - with her permission - and knew that they weren't in there. Even if they were, they didn't contain anything helpful.

Her fingers froze as she looked at the empty space. "Ah." she turned around to face him, sliding the drawer shut, "They've become your 'insomnia' reading material, I take it?"

"Yes."

"I see... anything helpful?"

"Not a thing."

"Hmmm..." Her gazed lifted towards the ceiling as she thought, "How long has it been going on?"

"Since the first petal?" Baptiste asked, receiving a nod in reply, "...About a month?"

Her eyes shut at the reply, lips pinching tightly. She was annoyed at his delay in telling her. She wasn't the only one.

But she didn't scold him this time. Instead, she sighed tiredly before looking at him once more.

"I believe - though I'll have to double-check this since my files are gone - research shows that Hanahaki tends to manifest in the victim for an average a month before the first symptoms - aka petals - show." she said, doing some calculations, "That puts you at two months. How much has it worsened since the first petal? Was what you coughed up the first time in a while or-?"

"Second time today." he confessed, "That much both times."

She cursed under her breath in Swedish, the meaning unknown to Baptiste but the tone transcending language barriers.

"That's significant. Not the fastest progression, but definitely picking up speed." she noted, "An optimistic timeline would give you two months to cure yourself."

"And a pessimistic one?" he had to ask.

"Less than a month." she had, struggling to keep her voice light as she uttered the grim words. She crossed her legs uncomfortably, then uncrossed them, fidgeting more than Baptiste could ever recall seeing before.

'Who is it?" she asked him. "Who's the target of your affection?"

"I-"

"Is it someone here?" she asked quickly. "I know everyone here very _very_ well. If it's someone here I can give you the fast track to their heart, speed date your way to a cure. I would do that for you."

"I don't know." Baptiste said uncomfortably.

"I wouldn't violate any privacy laws. Anything I told you would just be information gleaned from working alongside these men and women for years." she promised, "You can tell me, Jean. Let me help."

"I mean I don't know who it is." Baptiste explained, "I was trying to figure that out before I bothered you. I don't know."

She blinked owlishly. "How can you not know?" she asked him.

"Because I never had time to explore feelings like that while growing up, Ziegler. I was just trying to survive, I have been ever since I was orphaned. I've been fighting for survival my whole life, always caught in the middle wherever I go, be it Haiti, the coalition, Talon... Always caught in the middle, fighting to survive." he tried to explain, "I didn't care about kissing or sex, I just wanted food, to see the sunrise tomorrow. This is the first place I've ever felt I can let my guard down and feel safe enough to look towards a future. I love everyone here. I just can't parse the familial love from the sexual one. How do you tell the difference?"

"Well..." she began slowly, crossing her arms as she leaned back against her desk. "Love is... when there's no one else you'd rather be with. The person that makes your eyes light up and a smile cross your lips. You feel safe, cared for, and you would die for them. It's the person you want to see every morning the second you open your eyes and the last thing you want to see before you fall asleep at night. They're who you can be yourself around, who inspires you to be the best you _you_ can be. That's love, in a way."

Baptiste rolled her words around in his head. "Like how you look at Mei-Ling Zhou?" he asked quietly.

If she hesitated in replying, it was only for a moment. "Yes, like how I look at Mei." she said with a nod, "I'm surprised you noticed."

"Mmm-hmm. I've never seen you look so happy before." he admitted, adding, "I couldn't take that away from you by bothering you about this... thing, Ziegler."

Angela's face was unreadable as she stared out into space, but as she did the math - and realized Mei's arrival was solidly in the middle of Jean's disease progression - she frowned.

"Well, let me know if you figure out who it is." she said. She paused, frown deepening, "Jean?"

"Yes?"

"If you can't figure it out, are you going to opt for the surgery?"

Teeth nibbled his lip for a moment. "I don't know." he admitted, "I haven't decided."

"I would prefer to know your wishes as soon as possible. Otherwise, I'll go through with the surgery if you haven't stated otherwise if worse comes to worst. In fact, I'll make sure the supplies are in place once we're done here." she told him, "I'm assuming you've read the side effects of the surgical removal of the flower?"

"I have," he said grimly. "I don't know if I would want to live without being able to love. That sounds bad enough, but to lose all my emotions? That sounds terrifying. I would be nothing more than a robot made of flesh."

"I understand. The choice is yours," she said quietly, pausing to nervously lick her lips. "Take care of yourself, Baptiste. Watch out for escalating symptoms and let me know if you begin to feel worse in any regard, alright?"

"I will," he promised, letting the conversation fall into a long, awkward silence. Finally, he broke it. "May I go now?"

She glanced between him and the door. “One moment, please.” she turned around and began digging through the cabinets. Then she turned around and handed him a small paper bag.

“Condoms. A variety of sizes so that, no matter, who is it, the protection should fit one of you,” she explained. “Lube as well. Everything you should need if you figure it out and wish to get intimate.”

Jean felt like he should be embarrassed, but he wasn’t. Rather, he just wanted to leave and not think about what he had just been handed.

“Thank you.” he said politely, “Now may I leave?”

"Now you may." she nodded, watching him turn to go. "Please try to figure out who you're in love with, Baptiste. Please."

Saying nothing more, Baptiste left the room. What else was there to say? Nothing.

Instead of letting himself pass out, he headed to the showers to wash the stress of the day. The grim and sweat on his body were scrubbed off in an overly-indulgent long shower. He breathed in the hot steam, rubbing his sore muscles under the stream.

He took his time exiting the showers, slowly toweling off and dressing himself. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone else right now. His discussion with Angela had sucked his energy dry.

 _Two months to cure himself,_ she had said. It had rubbed his last bit of hope raw. Up until that point, he had been able to pretend that there was something that someone could do, whether it be him or Ziegler.

And that two-month timeline was a best-case scenario. It all depended on the severity of the disease. Not that it changed much in the end.

It wasn’t fair to be angry. This was no one’s fault. Besides that, it was an impossible disease to treat. Research was difficult; the disease was a rapid onset and rapid decline. Most strides in progress had come about from examining cadavers. That might also have to be Baptiste’s contribution to science too.

Eventually, he headed out, walking down the hall. He was debating where to go now. He could go to his room, but he had spent so much time there recently, staring at the walls while trying to fall asleep and wake up from this nightmare. Surely there was somewhere else he could just… exist outside of his room for a while.

As he was debating between relaxing on the rooftop or trying to find a quiet nook to read in, Lucio came skating up to him.

“Hey!” he said energetically, “How did the surgery go?”

“It went alright. He’s in the clear and resting now. ” Baptiste said tiredly, “How’s Genji?”

“He’s doing better. We talked while I was cooking, had some beans soaking last night to cook today, and he helped me out. Was trying to get his mind off things and I think it worked.” Lucio said, “Jesse’s with him now. He said he’s going to take over keeping an eye on Genji and his brother until they’re both cleared. He’s known him longer, so it’s cool.”

“Good. Glad to hear.” Baptiste said, “And how are you doing?”

“Me?” Lucio asked with a quiet laugh, “I’m okay, I guess. Tired. Hungry.” 

His eyes then lit up as he reminded himself of why he was here. “Genji helped me make _Feijoada._ Thing is, he can’t eat it and I made waaay too much for just me and, you know, you’re a man of good taste...”

Ah, Lucio’s _Feijoada_ was delicious. Baptiste had had it a few times before. The pork and bean stew was both flavorful and comforting to him.

“So,” Lucio continued, “Wanna come help me eat some of it?”

Normally Baptiste would say yes in a heartbeat, but at the moment he didn’t want to. He didn’t feel the need to eat right now.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he said as politely as he could, “I’m not hungry.”

“Listen, I can respect that, but Jean, man,” Lucio said, looking him up and down, “When was the last time you ate something? For real? Because we’ve been back for four hours now and you haven’t had anything to eat, right?”

Baptiste thought about his question. They had been back for four hours. Coming and going to the mission had been about three. He had been in his room for three hours after their last meal… He hadn't eaten in ten hours. And he wasn’t hungry at all.

 _Loss of appetite_ was the beginning of late stage Hanahaki. The two-month timeline had been very optimistic. He was looking at closer to a month if that. God…

He might as well make the most of it, spend time with the people most important to him. There was nothing else he could do. 

“You know, you’re right.” Baptiste said, walking past him and towards the kitchen, “Let’s go eat.”

Once they made it to the kitchen, Lucio went to the stove and served them, each a heaping bowlful of the stew. He pulled out two of the chairs by the counter, letting them eat in the quiet of the kitchen rather than among the others conversing in the cafeteria.

The scent of the stew filled the kitchen, meaty, savory, and mouth-wateringly delicious. Watching Lucio pour the hearty stew over white rice, Jean was thinking that maybe it was actually a good idea that he had joined Lucio for dinner.

He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and letting the scent waft over him. He exhaled, his shoulders relaxing as he grabbed the spoon. Lucio beamed at the heaping spoonful he saw in Baptiste’s hands, the joy in his hands managing to elicit a small smile out of Baptiste.

Lucio took the first bite between the two of them, groaning happily. As he chewed, he bounced excitedly in his seat.

With a reaction like that, Baptiste couldn’t hesitate any longer. He blew on his hot spoonful before he slipped it into his mouth.

His joy was short-lived, however. The normally flavor-packed food tasted like nothing more than paste of his tongue. He fought back a gag, not wanting to insult Lucio, and forced himself to swallow the spoonful.

“It’s good, right?” Lucio asked excitedly, eagerly looking over at Baptiste.

“Yeah.” he lied, forcing himself to smile, “Great!”

Was this what his life was going to be like from now on, he wondered as he choked down another bite. His initial dismay was swiftly replaced by the frigid realization that it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be for long anyway.

Keenly aware that Lucio’s eyes were on him, Baptiste decided to start a conversation in an effort to distract him. It was hard enough to eat this without someone watching his every move.

“You know, I thought you hated Genji’s brother." Baptiste began, deciding to hit hard out the gate.

It worked. Lucio’s spoon fell back into his bowl and his smile fell. His shoulders tucked in tight as his brow furrowed.

“Well, I mean, I do. I think I do. I did at least.” he confessed.

“So why help me save his life then?” Jean asked, knowing how cruel the question was but not really caring right now. “Without your assistance, he would have died. You didn’t have to act, but you did. Why?”

Lucio leaned back as he heard the question, eyes dipping south as he tried to think of an answer. Baptiste took advantage of the situation to shovel three quick piping hot spoonfuls into his mouth. It burned, but he didn’t care.

“I… our job is to save people. That’s what we do.” Lucio explained, slowly and carefully picking out his words, “And, I mean, that wasn’t about me. I saved him for Genji. And you. So that Genji didn’t lose him and you didn’t have to have his blood on your hands. I did it for all of us, for everyone, because you’re my friends and I'm a good person… or I try to be at least…?”

He finished uncertainly, his self-confidence clearly shaken by the question and implication. In the time it had taken for him to hash out an answer, Baptiste had finished the bowl full of food. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, swallowing the molten mouthful. The inside of his cheeks stung from the heat, his tongue in pain, but he didn’t care.

All that mattered was that he had finished the meal so Lucio should have no qualms about his leaving now. His bowl was clean. There was no reason he had to stay any longer.

“I see.” he said as he scooted his chair back and stood, “Thanks for the food.”

Without another word, he left. He could feel Lucio’s eyes on his back as he left, but his stride didn’t break. He wanted to leave here. Now.

It wasn’t until he was walking down the hall towards his room that he replayed the conversation in his mind. He hadn’t meant to sound that cruel, that callous. It hadn’t felt that way at the time. It was just… he wanted a chance to finish his food in peace, he knew Lucio would be watching him, and he didn’t care how he distracted him.

But now he cared. And it was too late to change it.

His chest grew tight, and that this point he couldn’t tell if it was because of guilt or hibiscus petals. His plan had been to go lay down and try to sleep, but at the moment he was too disgusted with himself to even think of sleeping with his prior actions taunting him.

Instead, he went up to the rooftop. He could see the tail-end of the sunset, he thought, and try to meditate like he had seen Genji do.

But the sun had already set by now, and the first few stars were lighting up the ever-darkening night. Much to his surprise, he found Jesse McCree sitting on the roof, leaning back against the building as he smoked on his cigar.

His brows raised as he spied Baptiste, and patted the space next to him.

“Pop a squat,” he called out, and Baptiste obliged him. He sat down next to Jesse, staring out at the dark ocean in front of them.

They sat in blissful silence for a few minutes, with Jesse just silently smoking his cigar and blowing the smoke away from Baptiste. Finally, the cowboy spoke.

“What’s stressing you out?” he asked. Baptiste was surprised by the question, not that he should be. Jesse had a strong intuition and a keen eye when it came to figuring people out.

“Why aren’t you with Genji?” Baptiste asked, not wanting to indulge the question. “Lucio said you would be.”

“Genji’s a big boy, he can handle himself.” Jesse said, “‘Sides that, I ain’t gonna eavesdrop of him and his brother’s private discussion. Hard to be open with a third wheel standing around.”

“That’s true.” Baptiste admitted, “Is Doctor Ziegler still with them?”

“Yeah, Ang has it covered. She’s still down there.” Jesse asked, “So how are you feeling, Augustin? You busted your ass on the mission, brought everyone back alive, and worked a surgical operation. You take any time for yourself yet, superman?” 

“I’ve taken time, yes,” Baptiste said. “What about you? I know you headed the entire mission-”

“Someone had to plan it out and call the shots, and Genji wasn’t gonna be able ta’ keep everyone in line. Not that I blame him. Hell of a situation to have thrown on ya’,” Jesse shrugged, “But enough about me… what’s got you down?”

“What makes you think I’m down?” Baptiste asked, crossing his arms.

“I can just tell. Something’s bothering you.” Jesse said, pulling his cigar out of his mouth and holding it out to Baptiste, “Want a puff?”

Baptiste couldn’t help how his lip curled at the sight of the cigar. He never smoked, and despite how apathetic he felt about everything else right now, he didn’t want to start.

“Smoke one out for me,” he offered instead, gaze returning to the dark ocean. He wasn’t going to get out of this without conversing with McCree. “Can-”

His words were cut off by Jesse loudly coughing. The cowboy bent to the side, arm wrapped his middle, hand planted on his lips, as he coughed up a lung. A brief stillness after his fit later, he was sitting back up once more.

“Smoke went down the wrong pipe.” he explained, “Keep going.”

“Man to man, what does love mean to you?” Baptiste asked, “What does it feel like to be in love? How do you know?”

“Oh, huh, well that’s… that’s a real humdinger of a question, lemme tell ya’.” Jesse laughed, pausing in thought. “What does it feel like to be in love?”

Fingers drummed on his thigh, he began to speak slowly, thinking about each word that left his mouth. 

“It feels like your heart racing in your chest. Like you suddenly realize how lonely you are and the answer to that’s just appeared in front of you.” he tried to explain, “You want to be with them all the time, hear every word that they’re gonna say, learn all you can ‘bout ‘em because they’re the first drink your parched lips have ever wanted and you want to taste every last drop. You feel peace an’ happiness and you realize you wanna never disappoint ‘em. But then you realize you’re human, and you’re gonna, and can’t help but wonder if you are even worthy to walk alongside them? That’s my experience, anyway.”

His description didn’t help much, at least not initially. It was different from Ziegler’s. Her’s was full of hope, warm and soft. Jesse’s was faster, chaotic longing, more desperate, and uncertain. Did either description help Jean figure out what he was feeling? 

Actually… Maybe they did.

“What lady’s caught your eye?” Jesse asked teasingly, with a wiggle of his eyebrow.

Baptiste could answer that one. “It’s… not a lady,” he explained. “I know that much.”

“Beggin’ your pardon, Augustin. Who’s the lucky fella’?” he asked, wiggling his other eyebrow. “Ain’t me, is it?”

“No, I’m sorry, it’s not,” Baptiste replied confidently.

“My loss then,” Jesse said with a smile. He slouched down and laced his fingers over his middle. “Think I’m gonna be out here for just a lil’ while longer. Starting to get chilly.”

“It is. I’m gonna go in actually.” Baptiste said, slowly getting up, “This was a good talk, McCree, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Any time,” McCree said, giving him a lazy wave goodbye, “G’night, partner.”

Jean headed back inside and went straight to his room. He didn’t want to risk crossing paths with Lucio - not after the way he had talked to him - and he just wanted some quiet to think. Because now he had something to actually think about.

As he lay there, after changing his clothes and hiding the bag Angela had given him in his top dresser drawer, Baptiste knew he had figured out enough over the last few days to know the object of his affection wasn’t McCree. Between Angela and Jesse’s descriptions, he knew that, despite how much he enjoyed McCree’s company, how much he felt like family, he didn’t love him romantically.

No. That left two. Genji and Lucio. Which one it was, he didn’t know. He adored them both, which did he feel different about?

He had to figure that out before he approached either of them if he even dared to. Genji was occupied with his brother right now, so it wouldn’t be fair to put this additional pressure on his already weighed-down shoulders. Especially not if it wasn’t him.

How shitty would that be of him? To make think either of the men was the objection of his affection and then they _weren’t_ ? To put that pressure on them and turn out to be wrong? That he _lied_ about loving them? As far as he fell over the course of this disease, he would never do that.

As he closed his eyes, he could at least be comforted by the fact he had it narrowed down to two. He could figure it out. Between the two of them, there was one that he liked more, which he loved. He just had to figure out which one he felt more strongly about, tell them, and pray that they liked him back, and that he wasn’t interfering with anything the two of them had with each other, and that he was right.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

The plan had been to rest up, start the day refreshed, and spend it deliberating his emotions over. That had been the plan in place as he shut his eyes.

But he hadn’t planned on being awoken multiple times throughout the night, jarred awake from dreams he couldn’t remember, choking on wads of flowers. The small trashcan beside his bed had a thick layer of petals on the bottom by the time the sun rose.

He awoke exhausted. His body felt heavy and felt more tired than when he had gone to sleep. He was barely functioning.

The thought of getting up and joining the others in the cafeteria was unappealing. Not only was it a long distance away, but he couldn’t stomach the thought of eating anything right now. He felt queasy.

Instead of getting up, he just went back to bed. He knew he did. He laid back down and shut his eyes, head on the pillow, body under the blanket.

Yet, the next thing he knew, he was opening up his eyes and looking at the bright blue sky. His back lay on a hot surface. He shot upright, swaying dizzily.

“Whoa there. Easy.” said a voice to his right. His head whipped around and he was greeted by the sight of Lucio laying on the floor next to him, hands tucked behind his head.

Baptiste blinked rapidly, unable to figure out what was going on. He had no idea how he was out on the training grounds. How he had gotten here from his room? What had he been doing between here and there? Why was Lucio here?

“He’s awake now!” Lucio called out before he looked Baptiste’s way. “Hi.”

“Hello?” Baptiste said curiously, struggling to keep the confused horror off of his face, “What is happening?”

“Well,” Lucio began, “We were talking at lunch-” -something Baptiste didn’t recall- “-about how tired you were because you didn’t sleep well and after we had some coffee-” -he had had coffee?- “-and talked about Genji’s brother for a while, and my new in-progress album-” - crap, had they really?- “-we decided to head out here for some quick exercises to get your blood flowing and see if we could help wake you up.”

“Okay, _and‽_ ” Baptiste asked more harshly than he normally would have liked. He didn’t like not remembering where he had been or what he had been doing.

If his tone bothered Lucio, the man didn’t show it at all. He stayed laying down, as relaxed as ever. “And in the middle doing a warm-up lap, you kinda went off course and ran into the metal beam in the corner of the shooting gallery, stumbled over to the sparring mat, and passed out.” Lucio explained, “Genji’s in the kitchen over there, getting a drink and a cool cloth, ‘cause he’s worried you’re overheating and that you might have a concussion.”

Okay, that was reasonable. He didn’t remember it, none of it, but it didn’t sound too bad. “And what are you doing?” Baptiste had to ask.

“Oh, I laid down next to you so that if anyone came outside they would just think we were chillin’,” Lucio explained with a smile. After that, he finally pushed himself upright and sat up next to Baptiste, placing a comforting hand on Jean’s arm.

It was then that Genji appeared from the kitchen, cold water bottle and soaking wet cloth in hand. He sped over to the two of them, crouching in front of Baptiste.

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry.” he was speaking rapidly. The bottle was placed in front of Lucio and Genji pressed his hands against Baptiste’s cheeks, looking over his face with wide eyes.

The metal hands were cool, and the cold water dripping down the cloth Genji had wrapped around the back of his neck sent shivers down his spine. Genji’s forehead pressed against his, eyes staring deeply into Baptiste’s as he searched for something.

“How’s your vision?” he asked, “No double vision, right?”

“None,” Jean assured him. 

“Headache?”

“A small one, but apparently I ran into a metal beam, so that’s to be expected,” Baptiste said.

“Dizzy?”

“Not really.”

“So you didn’t overheat, okay.” Genji was just starting to calm down, “Do you think you have a concussion?”

In all honesty, Baptiste couldn’t answer that as well as he would like. Many of the effects of the Hanahaki he was dealing with right now did overlap with the symptoms of a concussion; nausea, confusion, memory loss, dizziness… He didn’t feel worse, though, so he took that to be a negative on the concussion scale.

After his brief internal evaluation, Baptiste finally responded. “No.” 

As soon as Genji heard his answer, he relaxed, leaning back and looking Baptiste over entirely. Satisfied with what he saw, he finally let his hands fall back to his sides.

Lucio had opened the water bottle and nudged Baptiste with it, pressing it against his arm until Jean took the bottle and had a long sip.

“I think-” Baptiste began, “I think I’m going to go lay down.”

“Should we take you to the medbay?” Lucio asked, looking between him and Genji.

“No, no, no need,” Baptiste said quickly. He didn’t want to go to the med-bay. He didn't want to be judged. He didn’t want to risk Angela saying anything about his condition in front of them. It may have been a short-sided and irrational way of thinking, but he didn’t care.

As he began to stand up, Genji looped an arm around his side, helping him to his feet, Jean was surprised to discover how unsteady he felt. The room was moving, shifting around, despite him not moving an inch.

He leaned on Genji more than he would have liked, waiting the minute for the feeling to end.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Genji agreed, starting to help him move. Baptiste roughly nudged his hand off.

“I’ll go myself.” he said, “Don’t let me distract you.”

Lucio grabbed a handful of his shirt, trying to keep him in place. “Listen, Bap, I-”

Baptiste slapped Lucio’s hand off of him, blood now boiling at the restraint. “I _said_ I would go myself.” he hissed, “ _Don’t_ touch me.”

“I- Okay,” Lucio said, shrinking down and stepping back away from him. “Okay, no touching.”

“Can I walk you there?” Genji asked, hand hovering uncertainly in front of him.

What? Did they think of him a stupid child? Did they worry he would get lost? What kind of idiot did they take him for? He _could_ walk on his own damn two feet, and he knew the fucking way there. All he wanted to go do was lay down and get away from all this noise and have some peace and quiet for **_once_ ** in his damn life. Was that really _too much_ to ask?

 _“_ I said **_NO_ ** _.”_ he repeated harshly, looking between the two of them, “No. What about that do you two not get?”

“I-” Genji started, interrupting himself to cross his arms and standing to his full - shorter than Baptiste - height. “Jean-Baptiste Augustin, calm down,” he ordered. “Neither Lucio nor I deserved to be yelled at for trying to help you. Vent your frustrations _to_ us, not _at_ us, and we can help.”

Genji’s logical argument dosed the flames inside him, like a cold bucket of water poured over his head. He felt tired once more and once that anger he had been feeling was snuffed out he…

He just didn’t care anymore. About this. About anything. He was just… tired.

“You’re right,” he said flatly, agreeing with Genji so that the arguing stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. We all have our moments.” Genji said, accepting his apology, “I believe this is the first time we’ve seen yours.”

“I’m gonna go to bed now.” he said with a nod, “I think that’s for the best.”

“Me too.” Lucio finally said, rubbing the back of his slapped hand.

“And, I have no right to ask this of either of you,” Baptiste began, “But if you see me up again today, I don’t want to be.”

Genji and Lucio spared a brief look each other’s way. “What does that mean?” Genji dared to ask.

Baptiste thought for a moment and then gave up. “I don’t know.” he confessed as he turned and walked back inside, “I don’t know.”

Somehow he made it back to his room. He had barely laid down before his stomach churned and he had to sit back upright. The room spun around him, but somehow he made it to his bathroom in time to vomit into the toilet. His vomit tasted like coffee with the barest hint of fruit and was packed full of petals.

He was dizzy enough after puking that he just hung on the toilet, his face floating above the filled bowl, waiting for the next wave to hint. Right as he was beginning to think he was safe, that he could go lay back down, a second-round came spewing out his throat. It was all bile and petals and lasted what felt like forever. 

Finally, mercifully, it stopped. His stomach felt empty. He could leave.

Flushing the toilet without looking, he splashed water from the faucet on his face, wiped it on a towel, and toddled back to bed. He curled up into a ball on the mattress, arms wrapped around him tightly, praying that he went to sleep soon so he could just not hurt for a little while. He got his wish, blissfully passing out after ten long minutes of laying there.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

If you had asked Baptiste what day of the week it was, he couldn’t have told you. Days were blurs, full of unaccounted moments where he had no idea what had transpired. Judging by the side-eyed looks he was getting when he walked into a room - when he was actually upright for once - blackout Baptiste’s temper was making enemies of everyone. At least it felt that way.

This morning, by the time he looked at a clock, it was nearly time for breakfast to be over. He really didn’t want to go to the cafeteria to eat, but he felt like he had to. He had no idea when or what he had been eating over the last few days, but he didn’t really want to draw more attention to himself than necessary.

So he made himself get up and walk down there, not bothering to put on anything nicer than his pajamas. He got into the kitchen, which was thankfully empty, and grabbed a plate. His plan was to smear some kind of food or sauce on it and pretend to have eaten in the kitchen and go sit at a table long enough to be seen. He didn’t want to eat anything, he felt too sick to, but he would pretend so that others would leave him alone.

But he was thirsty. He should get a drink. Water didn’t sound great right now. Instead, he poured himself a small glass of Sprite, hoping it would help settle his stomach.

Drink poured, he took his plate and found an empty table in the mostly vacant cafeteria. On the far side of the room, Genji sat with his brother and Jesse McCree, talking over empty plates. Good, there were witnesses. He could be out of here soon.

Head resting in his hand, he let his eyes drift shut, trying to block out the now spinning room. As drained as he was over his sleepless nights, he slowly began to drift, only waking up as he nearly tipped over.

Eyes blinking rapidly as he sat back upright, he was surprised to see Genji climbing into the seat across from him. He set his plate down, now covered in fruit slices, bacon, a bran muffin, with a small bowl of dry cereal sitting on it.

“Good morning,” Genji said calmly. As far as Jean knew, this was the first time they had spoken in days. Last he remembered was the training area. Who knows what they had talked about between then and now, how much he had pissed Genji off since then.

“Good morning,” Jean replied cordially. There was nothing good about it to be had.

“Have a good breakfast?” Genji asked.

“Decent enough.” Baptiste lied.

Genji tilted his head thoughtfully. “What did you have?”

“Fruit. Muffin.” Baptiste replied. “I ate in the kitchen.”

“You must have really cleaned your plate.” Genji retorted, interrupting Jean to continue, “No, really, there’s not a crumb on there. In fact, it looks like the only thing to touch that plate has been your hands.”

Baptiste looked down, mentally cursing at forgetting to dirty his plate. This was having the opposite effect that he needed.

“I haven’t seen you eat at all in days.” Genji continued, eyes roaming over Baptiste's body as he commented idly. "You've lost weight."

At the sound of his words, Jean looked down at himself. He was disappointed to find that he was walking around with his shirt unbuttoned, hiding nothing.

Grabbing the flaps of his shirt, he wrapped them protectively in front of him. His fingers fumbled as he struggled to button it shut.

Did he really look that bad? He hadn't looked in any mirrors in a while, not wanting to see the mess he had become.

Between the vomiting and his missing appetite, it was obvious that he was losing weight. No one else had said anything, at least not as far as he was aware. Were they just being polite or was Genji just hyper-observant?

"I have food," Genji said, his body still as he watches Jean's flustered buttoning. "Take whatever you want."

Baptiste eyed the plate, holding in a gag. He didn't want to eat. Why didn't they understand that?

"You're treating me like a child." He hissed. It wasn't supposed to come out that cruel. He hadn't meant for it to.

"No, I- no. You misunderstand." Genji began to explain. "I wasn't thinking and grabbed some food Angela hasn't approved. Rather stupid of me. If anyone should be treated like a child, it's me.

Baptiste looked at his plate. Genji wasn't allowed to eat dry cereal, too sharp for his delicate insides if not sufficiently chewed, same for the bacon, too fatty and chewy to digest properly, save for special, monitored occasions. He didn't eat bran muffins; pastries he was allowed as treats and he always chose more decadent options. Fruit he was allowed, but not the apple slices adorning his plate. They were hard to break down internally, and, unless the apples were cooked, he had to pick softer fruits. There wasn't a thing on Genji's plate that he was allowed to or would even eat.

"Liar,” Baptiste said, glaring between him and the plate.

"No, just blind," Genji said with a shrug, pushing the plate towards Baptiste. "Help me, please. I hate wasting food.”

“Then you shouldn’t have filled your plate with food you can’t eat.” Baptiste retorted, crossing his arms.

“Don’t make me involve Angela, because I will,” Genji said, his tone implying this was a threat. “Even my brother, who doesn’t know you at all, can tell that something’s wrong. I will drag you to the medbay by your toes and hold you down while a feeding tube is set up if you don’t eat something right now or explain why you’re not. Do not test me. I’m not in the mood for it.”

Baptiste glared at Genji, looking at him from down his nose. He could barely make out Genji’s eyes from behind his visor, but he didn’t break eye contact from where he _thought_ they were as he snatched the plate and pulled it towards him.

At this point, it was the _principle_ of not explaining that fueled his fury. At least that’s what he irrationally rationalized in his addled brain. Genji wanted him to eat. Fine. He would. Fuck him.

He tried the dry cereal first, but the first crunch between his teeth made him gag. Without any flavor, he hated the sensation of chewing something so rough, the noise throughout his head. He swallowed the bite he took but didn’t return for a second.

He tried the apple next. Same issues, the crunch was unnerving, only it was on the opposite end of the wetness spectrum. The cold, tasteless juice filling his mouth as he bit into the slice sent shivers down his spine. He finished the slice, but that was it for the apple.

The bacon was chewy, fatty, unpleasant without that smoky saltiness he loved. He hadn’t realized how awful losing his sense of taste would be until it happened. Food just… wasn’t worth it, not when his stomach whirled and his tongue had given up on life. Why bother really?

The muffin was the only thing he could choke down. It was soft, turned to mush quickly as he chewed, and he could inhale it quick enough to try to bypass his stomach’s ever-persistent nausea filter.

“Would you like another muffin?” Genji asked quietly, watching as Jean ate. Baptiste shook his head in reply, in the middle of swallowing the mouthful of muffin he had shoved into his mouth. “I didn’t think so.”

Chugging his drink in an effort to free his mouth, Baptiste finally washed down the food. “I-” he paused for another sip, “Why aren’t you with your brother?”

“Hanzo’s unpacking his things in his new room. Jesse is with him, talking with him to see if there’s anything he needs that we have here or that we can pick up on the trip to town later today. Then he’ll get a tour of the base.” Genji explained, “We talked and felt there was a more pressing matter to attend to.”

“What could be more-” Baptiste frowned as he realized what Genji was talking about. Him. Goddammit.

“Do you want me to take you to the medbay?” Genji asked, “This illness of yours has lasted a few days now. You should get checked out.”

“I have talked with Angela. She said I need rest and to wait for it to pass.” It. Him. What was the difference at this point?

“Good. I’m glad to hear that you’re on the road to recovery.” Genji said. “It’ll be good to have you at 100 percent again. I look forward to it.”

“Me too, Genji.” Baptiste lied, laying his arms on the table. “Me too.”

“Do you need anything picked up from town? Any food sound good?” Genji asked, “I can pass the list onto Jesse for you.”

“No. But thank you anyway.” Jean said. Now that his outburst had passed, he felt sad and tired again, guilty for how he had been acting. He lay his head on his arms. “Genji, I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay. I’m grumpy before I eat too.” Genji said with a laugh, “Jean, you don’t have any plans tonight, do you?”

“None other than napping in my room,” Jean said without raising his head. His eyes were beginning to feel heavy again.

“Don’t make any. Make sure you’re free. Please.” Genji said, slowly getting to his feet from the sounds of things. “Promise me?”

“I promise. You might have to wake me, however.” Baptiste confessed, “I’ll make no plans for the future.”

If only Genji realized the despair behind his words. If only he didn’t bear this burden alone. It wasn’t fair to worry the others, though. It would be over soon.

“Good! I’ll see you tonight, I-” he paused, looking at Baptiste’s slumped form. “Would you like help going... somewhere else?”

“No thank you, I’m just resting my eyes.” Baptiste said, “I”ll be heading elsewhere soon enough. Go take care of your brother. He needs you more right now.”

“...I’m not sure about that,” Genji muttered, casting Baptiste’s body one more look over before he departed. “Not sure about that at all.”

Baptiste had sworn that he was going to rest his eyes for just a moment. He didn’t.

Instead, his eyes didn’t open back up until a gentle hand was jostling his shoulder and rousing him. His head raised slowly, bobbing heavily, and his eyes blinked as he readjusted to the light. Turning his head, he saw Angela staring back at him, concern all over her face.

“Jean?” she said quietly, eyes roaming over his groggy face, “Genji asked me to check on you, but not let you know that he asked.”

“You messed that up, then.” Baptiste struggled to say in the midst of a yawn. He looked around the cafeteria. It was empty now, save for the two of them.

She ignored his comment. “Here. Drink this,” she said.

She placed a steaming mug down in front of him, and then carefully sat down next to him. She placed a comforting hand on his back, gently rubbing up and down.

“You’re getting worse,” she said. It wasn’t a question. “The others have noticed too.”

There was no use lying. “I think two months was a very optimistic timeline,” Baptiste admitted.

Her lips tightened uncomfortably. “Do you have any idea who it is?”

“I do. I’ve narrowed it down to two.” Baptiste told her. “Not that it really matters.”

“Who?” she said, leaning forward to look him in the eye. “Who is it, Baptiste?”

He just shook his head. “No.,” he said hoarsely, with Angela nudging the drink closer at the sound of his voice. He picked it up and took a long sip. He didn’t know what he was drinking, he couldn’t taste it, but at least it felt nice and comforting going down.

She waited until he put the mug back down before she spoke. “You’re not even going to try to cure yourself, then?”

“No. I’ve made my peace.” Baptiste said, “I’ve thought long and hard about this, but no matter how I spin it, it always comes off as selfish.”

“Selfish?” she asked curiously. “How?”

“Well, I can’t differentiate which man I love more. I love them both, I think. So I would have to put that pressure on both of them. What if the one I loved didn’t love me back but the one I didn’t did? How would that be fair to either of them?” he explained, “And not only that, but there’s no guarantee that either of them will love me back enough to cure it. They love each already and if they know it was them and they can’t save me, I know they’ll live with that guilt for the rest of their lives. That’s not how I want to be remembered, as the man they let die, as the man who took down as many others as he could with him. I want them to remember the good times, that’s all I want to leave behind, Angela. The little bit of joy I was able to bring with me here.”

Her eyes had grown damp as he spoke, teeth clamping down on her bottom lip. She was battling with herself to hold in the tears. At least one person would miss him.

“So you’re not going to even consider the surgery?” she asked, managing to speak despite her strained voice. She was trying to stay professional. Baptiste could respect her for that. “I spoke with some friends from the Oasis ministries about the disease. They shared some information that they’re close to publishing.”

Baptiste looked at her tiredly. “Does it change anything?”

“It’s about the surgery if you were to go with it,” she explained. “A recent analysis of previous patients revealed that twenty percent of patients that opted for surgery had the disease return. The common link was the method of removal. Patients that opted for the original method, which left 90% of emotions intact, had the disease return in five years if love wasn’t found. There’s a secondary removal method, it’s much more thorough, but severely hinders the limbic system’s emotional communication.”

“It can come back?” Baptiste whispered, the words too horrifying to utter aloud. He would have gasped as he could, but his breathing had grown more shallow the longer the disease infected him. It was near impossible to by this point.

“It could, but with this information, we can make an informed decision.” she said, “If you opt for the first method, which will leave most emotions intact, it should help you feel more normal. From there, it would be easier to attempt to pursue your affections, and we would know that there was a time limit. The second method would cure you entirely, but…”

“Leave me nothing but a shell.” Baptiste finished for her.

“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear. But it’s my job to present all the options and information I can find,” she explained. “It’s entirely up to you on how to proceed.”

Baptiste debated her words a moment, then asked. “So does the first method hinder the ability to love?”

“It does.”

“I see,” he said quietly. “This is quite the information you’ve given me, Ziegler. I need some time to think. May I have a day?”

“Of course.” she said, “However if you want a day to think, you’re getting four.”

He didn’t really need all that time to think. One day would be enough.

“Is there anything I can get you?” she asked him.

“No, no thank you,” he said, hands wrapped around the mug, soaking in the last bit of warmth. “Thank you for talking with me.”

“Anytime, Jean.” she said, carefully standing up, “Oh, and Genji mentioned something about surprising you tonight with something. Him and Lucio. They sounded excited. I wanted to let you know so you're not caught off-guard. I figured you would rather not be right now.”

“He mentioned something about making sure my evening was free,” Baptiste said, pausing to chug the end of the drink and then get to his feet, “I think I’m going to go sleep so that I can be awake for whatever they’re wanting to do. I’ve been awful to them lately. I owe them tonight.”

With that, the two of them went their separate ways. Baptiste headed straight back to bed but was sure to set an alarm for early evening before he passed out. The last few interactions he had had with Genji and Lucio had been rough, all because of him. He didn’t want to mess this up too.

The alarm went off, and despite how heavy his body felt, he made himself get up. He was in the middle of washing his face and brushing his teeth when there was a knock at his door. Finishing up quickly in the bathroom, he went to open it.

He was met with the sight of Genji and Lucio eagerly standing outside his door.

“You’re up!” Lucio said. His hands were hiding behind his back. Why?

“Well, you asked me to be. I wanted to be for you,” he said, looking between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“Your surprise,” Genji explained, which explained nothing.

“Okay, first thing first, we got you something from town. We picked it out together. I went to town and Genji helped me pick over the phone.” Lucio said, showing his hands. He held a red Hawaiian shirt, designed around a red, orange, and yellow sunset reflecting in the ocean. The black silhouettes of palm trees provided more visual interest. It was a gorgeous shirt. “What do you think? You like it?”

“I do,” he said, reaching out and taking it. He rubbed his thumb along the fabric. The material was soft. It was a quality shirt in a bright color scheme he adored. They knew what he liked. He wanted to cry, but couldn’t.

“Put it on!” Lucio said as he bounced on his toes. He wasn’t wearing skates for once. That was odd.

Baptiste obliged him, slipping off the shirt he had been wearing for God knows how long and slowly sliding his arms into the sleeves. Despite how practiced the motion was, his body ached and it was a bit rougher looking than he would have liked.

The shirt fit well enough. It was a size smaller than he was used to. He liked his shirts loose, this one was more form-fitting, but the soft material made up for its more notable presence on his body. He loved it. Despite how empty he felt inside, he really loved it.

“Do you want to put on shorts?" Lucio asked.

“ _Should_ I put on shorts?” Baptiste asked, seeking their advice and hoping to get a hint of what was to come. Lucio looked at Genji out the side of his eye, letting the ninja decide.

“That or roll your pants up.” Genji said, “Actually, we'll just let you roll your pants up. It could get chilly. Come on now."

His decisions apparently being made for him, Baptiste was dragged out of his room by the enthusiastic men. They escorted him down the hall, taking him to the garage. There, the golf cart buggy thing that was used for quickly getting around the massive base was parked by the open door. There was a cooler and some towels packed on the back.

“Hop on,” Genji said. He offered Jean a hand, helping him up into the backseat. Lucio pulled the keys out of his pocket and slid into the driver’s seat.

“Everyone buckled in?” Lucio teased, as the cart had no safety belts, “Alright, we’re off. Close your eyes, Bap. It’s _surpriiiiise tiiime_.”

Baptiste did try to close his eyes as Lucio began driving, he really did try to do what was asked, but the motion of the car moving combined with his ever-present nausea made having his eyes shut turn into a stomach-churning experience.

He gagged and only opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his face.

“It’s okay.” Genji whispered to him, “You don’t have to have them closed, Jean.”

With permission given to break the one request they had asked of him so far, Baptiste opened his eyes and looked around. They were driving down a road, leaving the base behind them.

He hadn’t traveled outside of the base since he had first set foot here, save for walking the perimeter occasionally. The view from the cliff-side roads there were driving down was beautiful. As he gazed out at the early evening sky, with the beginning colors of a sunset starting to tint the sky, a scent tickled his nose.

He inhaled deeply, and as soon as his nostrils identified the scent, he saw it. The salty air of a rolling ocean grew stronger as they drove closer to it. Lucio navigated the narrow road with skill, and before long he had parked them on the sandy beach.

Baptiste looked around with wide eyes, staring out towards the ocean he hadn’t seen in what felt like years when a hand lightly grasped his arm.

“I told you we would take you to the ocean,” Genji said, smiling with his lopsided grin. “C’mon.”

He exited the vehicle first, offering Baptiste help on the step down. Lucio began unpacking their supplies, carrying the cooler with wobbling gait, unsteadied by its weight. Some towels sat in the crook of his other arm.

As Lucio laid the towels out, Genji walked Baptiste over towards him. To their right was a soldered together stack of metal bars. On it hung a hammock that swayed in the gentle breeze.

“We don’t have any palm trees here, but we asked Brig if she would put this together so that there was a hammock for you,” Lucio said brightly. “You said you liked ‘em, right?”

He did. He had missed laying in the gentle embrace of a hammock, letting mother nature rock him to sleep. But, with as queasy as he felt, the idea of being rocked back and forth sounded like torture.

“Thanks.” was all he said, not making a move towards it.

“It’s sturdy!” Lucio promised, sitting down on the hammock and rocking around in it as if fear was the only thing scaring Jean away. “See? It’s-”

Genji gave a quiet shush, subtly shaking his head no at Lucio. No. Don’t push it, he was saying. Let this one drop.

“It’s gonna stay here on the beach so that we’ve got a hammock we can use any time.” Lucio continued quickly, trying to save the conversation. “You should try it out later when you feel better, okay?”

“Okay.” Baptiste lied, “I will.” His flat tone didn’t go unnoticed.

“Are…” Lucio looked between Baptiste and Genji before he continued, “Are you still feeling sad, Bap? Even on a beach?”

“I-” what use was there lying? “Yes. Now I’m just sad in bright clothes.”

“Sooo, like a tropical depression?” Lucio joked trying to lighten the mood. Jean could tell that he was trying, so he tried to laugh in return. He made an awkward, forced chuckle that felt so fake, even he grew uncomfortable.

Genji then escorted him over to the large towel Lucio had spread out, helping him sit down on the beach. Genji had made the right call about not changing into shorts. The sea air was growing colder as the sun began to set.

Lucio had popped open the cooler and was digging through it. “Now, I know you said you like mai tais on the beach, but I know you’ve been feeling kinda cruddy, so I brought you some coconut water instead,” he said, shutting the cooler now that he had drinks in hand. “Should help with the nausea, I hope.”

“I do like coconut,” Jean said as he took the chilly, damp bottle out of Lucio’s hands. “I- thank you.”

“No problem, man,” Lucio replied as he sat on Baptiste’s other side. “We know you’ve been having a tough time lately. Don’t know what’s going on, but we remembered how happily you talked about the beach.”

Genji continued for him. “We planned out this evening for you to relax. We timed it so you could see the sunset,” he explained. “If fact - look - it’s starting now.”

Baptiste’s eyes drifted towards the colors beginning to bloom bright in the sunset sky. As he sat there, next to two of the most important people in his life, on a beach - one of the places he loved the most -, watching a beautiful sunset, he should feel nothing but peace and happiness.

So why did he feel nothing at all? He sat here and felt nothing inside. The cool breeze blew past him, the crashing of the waves filled his ears, he could feel Genji and Lucio pressed against his sides and the majesty of the sunset lighting up the sky filled his eyes, but inside was nothing by ice.

Why didn’t he feel happy? Why couldn’t he? He wanted to so badly, he could taste it… if he still could taste anything that was.

His arms wrapped tightly around his middle as he tucked his legs in. A soft whine exited his throat. He could see Lucio and Genji lean back to exchange looks behind his back.

“I-” Lucio gulped, beginning to get to his feet, “Listen, I’ll back off here and give you two some space.”

Genji motioned for him to sit. “No. No, Lu. I’ll leave you two alone, go for a stroll along the shore.”

Baptiste’s fingers clawed more tightly at his body. Neither of them wanted to be here. They didn’t want him here. He could feel it. They both were looking for an excuse to leave. He couldn’t blame them for that.

“No, don’t-” he said, leaning forward onto his knees and struggling to stand, “I’ll leave.”

Without a word, both men reached up and pulled him back down. It was undeniable, though, that after that moment, the atmosphere had soured.

They sat in silence as the sun set, with Baptiste wishing he was back in his room, not out here disappointing everyone once again.

It wasn’t until the sky was turning dark that any of them spoke again.

“What’s bothering you, Jean?” Genji finally asked, standing up and watching as Jean slowly got to his feet. “I don’t understand and I want to.”

“ _Nothing_ is bothering me.” Baptiste lied, standing tall and making use of the height he had on both men.

“Stop lying!” Lucio yelled. That shut Baptiste right up. The only time Lucio ever yelled was in excitement, never anger. “Stop it!”

Baptiste watched as Genji began angrily rolling the sandy towel into a ball, holding it tightly in his arms.

“Jean-Baptiste Augustin, something is going on.” Genji hissed.

“Would you two _stop-”_

“Alright then, Jean. If nothing is wrong, then explain this to me.” Genji began, “The other day, I spoke with Angela about your injury in the training arena - when you ran into a pole - and I asked if it was possible to have you pulled from active mission status for monitoring for a day or two. She said you already were, but the way she tensed I know means she wasn’t supposed to say that. Why are you on the inactive roster if nothing is wrong, Jean? Tell me.”

Baptiste was shaking, and he knew it wasn’t just the ocean breeze sending shivers down his spine. He was getting angry. What was there that he could even say? And who was Genji to even _dare_ demand answers from him?

“I want to help, Jean. _We_ want to help.” Genji continued, motioning towards Lucio, who was tightly clutching the cooler’s handle, “Do you want to sit in the next time I talk with Master Zenyatta? He always has good advice and maybe-”

“Oh, yes, your magic eight ball master who is the only one putting thoughts into your empty head,” Baptiste said before he could stop himself. Where was this even coming from? He didn’t know. That terrified him. “No thanks. An expired fortune cookie would serve me better.”

Baptiste had never seen Genji’s body ever tense up so strongly before. Insulting Master Zenyatta - the omnic that had saved his life - was absolutely off-limits, no matter how friendly or fierce the discussion grew. Baptiste had gone for one of the lowest possible blows possible and without even a second thought. Without even a first thought, if he was being honest.

Lucio wasn’t going to take his best friend being attacked like that. “Hey, what’s your deal, man?” Lucio said, stepping in front of Genji and shoving an unsteady Baptiste back away from his partner, “We were trying to do something _nice_ for you. Why are you acting like such a piece of shit?”

Physical violence and cuss words. Two things he had never heard or seen from Lucio before. If his rage hadn’t been burning so brightly hot, he would have realized the rubicon he was fastly approaching. However, in his Hanahaki-fueled fury, he didn’t.

“Because you two won’t leave me alone? Because you two think I need to be fixed?” Baptiste said, shoulders slumping tiredly, “Just… stop it, alright? Just stop. I’m so tired, I- please just make it stop. Stop it. Don’t anymore. I don’t want to hurt either of you any-”

Kinda late for that, Augustin.” Lucio said, guiding a stunned-into-silence Genji towards the cart. “I thought you had left the selfish, hurtful Talon mindset behind you when you joined us. Turns out it never left.” he said, adding, “Maybe it’s who you’ve really been the whole time.”

Genji then slammed the sandy towel down onto the back basket of the cart. Lucio placed the cooler down beside it and then put the keys into the ignition.

“Are you coming?” he called over his shoulder, looking back at Baptiste. Jean looked at the hurt tears spilling out of Lucio’s eyes and how Genji had shut down and shook his head.

“No. I’m going to stay down here a little while longer. I’ll walk back later,” he said, turning back towards the ocean, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “Go.” 

Lucio didn’t need to be told twice. The engine roared to life and he drove them up the road. Before long, they were out of sight, leaving Baptiste along on the beach.

He stumbled forward, shoes ankle-deep in the high tide. He _should_ feel guilt after what transpired. He should be so wracked with pain after what he had just said that he should be _groveling_ at their feet for forgiveness.

Tears stung at his eyes, but it was only because of the chilling emptiness he felt inside. His guts felt like ice, and now that his anger had fizzled out, he felt nothing.

Was this what his life would be life after the surgery? Saying hurtful words he didn’t identify, bringing others pain without a second thought?

That’s not what he wanted to become. That’s not who-

His stomach churned painfully, the worst one yet. He fell forward, hands sinking into the wet sand and shallow waves, vomiting up a massive pile of petals. It felt like it would never stop. He was left retching under the moonlight, dry heaving until he was sure there was nothing else coming up.

He watched as the petals floated in the waves, slowly drifting out to sea, never to bother anyone again. His chest heaved and he struggled for air. Trying to breathe deeply made him feel like a clogged drain, stuck gurgling and sputtering, barely able to do what was necessary. He hated it so much.

He couldn’t live like this for much longer. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

His mind was made up. He was going to leave before he could hurt anyone else in his family here before they had to see him collapse once and for all.

It was only the thought that he owed Doctor Ziegler a goodbye that kept him from walking forward into the deep blue right then and there. She had done so much vouching for him, been so kind to him ever since they had met. He had to talk to her one last time.

It was going to be a long walk back to the base. He had better start now. Going uphill was a struggle, he was so tired, but he made it. This was going to take him all night,

As he rounded the corner, he found the golf cart idling. Lucio sat in the driver’s seat, fingers drumming the bottom of his crossed arms. 

“Get in,” he called out to Baptiste. Jean hesitated, so he continued, “We’re not making a sick guy walk all the way back. We’re not heartless. Maybe you should learn something about that.”

Baptiste climbed into the backseat, sitting next to a Genji who refused to acknowledge his existence. That was fair.

Not a word was spoken for the rest of the trip, not a word exchanged as Lucio and Genji unpacked the cart. Baptiste didn’t even try to initiate any conversation as he walked away. There was nothing that he could possibly say that would fix this, and the less he had to open his mouth, the more his churning stomach would thank him.

Instead, he headed straight to the medbay. It was still early in the night, Angela would still be awake.

Much to his surprise, he found it empty. A quick walk around later, he found Ana sitting at a small table, sipping a drink and doing a crossword.

“Have you seen Doctor Ziegler?” he asked her, bile climbing in his throat as he spoke. He forced himself to swallow it back down.

“She’s off on a mission. She’ll be back in a few days.” Ana replied, lifting her mug to sip her tea.

“She’s gone?” The words left Baptiste’s mouth before he could stop himself. Was this what she had meant about giving him four days to think? It must be.

That just meant that he would have to wait then. Yes. Clearly. There was no other way. He had to say goodbye to her. Had to. It was a necessity now. So he would wait.

“Okay.” was all he said. He was panicking and shutting down himself. Thoughts were getting harder to think. Some corrupted version of an auto-pilot started taking over for him.

“Is there something you need?” Ana asked politely, “She asked me to keep myself available if you needed any help.”

“No.,” he said, barely shaking his head. That movement alone nearly had him spilling his guts again.

“Well, alright then…” she paused, eyeing her mug before she smiled at him. “Would you like to try this new tea McCree picked up for me today?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? It’s delightful.” she offered politely, “It’s a hibiscus tea and-”

Hearing the type of tea she was drinking was not what Baptiste needed right now, especially not since he had been brewing his own hibiscus tea for over a month now.

Now Baptiste was going to puke. Without another word, he left. He made a beeline for his room - refusing to vomit in the common areas - and barely made it to the small trash can by his bed before he vomited.

It was full of petals. It was a struggle to get out. He had to hack and cough to clear up the wads stuck in his throat.

Four more days of this. All he had to do was last four more days and then he could say his goodbye to Angela. Just four more-

Another round of vomit filled his throat. It burned, his whole body burned, and he wheezed as the petals blocked his throat again. He had to fight to clear his airway again.

He didn’t think he could last four more days.

He wasn’t even sure he was going to last the night.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Genji and Lucio had unpacked the cart without saying a word to each other. It wasn’t until they were placing the untouched drinks back in the fridge, with Genji slamming the door shut, that the silence was broken.

It may have been because Genji just screamed in frustration, but it still broke the silence.

“We’re going to go sit down and talk.” he then said decidedly, grasping Lucio’s wrist and marching him out of the kitchen.

So that’s where they were now. Sitting on a mattress in a bedroom. Genji sat against the wall, arms crossed stubbornly, and Lucio sat awkwardly next to him.

“-I just can’t believe he would say something like that.” Genji was saying, “It’s completely unlike him. At least I thought it was. Maybe I don’t know him so well after all.”

“He’s been acting weird.” Lucio agreed. “But I think this new weird isn’t normal if you get what I’m saying.”

“I know it’s not the man you’re crushing on, that’s for sure,” Genji added.

Lucio blushed. “Wait, you knew-”

“That song of yours was _made_ for him. So was that dinner the other day” Genji said, “I’ve seen how you look at him, Lu. I know.”

“Listen, I know you like him too, though. I saw how you were trying to impress him by flattening McCree in your little wrestling match the other day.” Lucio had to point out, “That’s why I was trying to let you two have space on the beach.”

Genji laughed. “That’s why _I_ was trying to let _you two_ have a moment together.” he said, “Maybe he took both of us trying to leave personally?”

“Maybe?” Lucio shrugged. “That doesn’t excuse the things he said. I mean, it pisses me off that he’s talking shit about your-”

“Don’t carry my burdens, Lu. He attacked me, not you. Don’t try to pick fights on my behalf. I don’t want you to. It’s not worth it.” Genji shook his head. “I just don’t understand where this massive attitude change has come from.”

A new voice spoke up. “Must you two really have this discussion in my room?” Hanzo said, poking his head out of the bathroom. There was shaving cream on half of his face, and all he did was send them an exasperated look before he returned to the bathroom.

“I wanted you and Lucio to finally meet,” Genji replied.

“Alright, sure, yet we’ve not even spoken ten words to each other,” Hanzo called out from the bathroom, focused on shaving. He loathed how scruffy he felt and was thankful that the cowboy had picked up the quality shaving kit he asked for, “But I’m being reminded of all the times you would come to my room to sulk after every heartbreak because your one-night-stands didn’t love you back.”

“It’s not like that,” Genji argued.

“Then what’s it like then?” Hanzo asked. He didn’t get a reply. “So what are you two going to do now?”

“Move on.” Genji shrugged, listening to the faucet run in the bathroom.

“He clearly doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore.” Lucio added with a shake of his head, “He said as much.”

“So I’m just going to forget him.” Genji stiffly said to Hanzo, who now stood in the doorway, toweling his face dry. “It’s not worth bothering about anymore.”

“Ah, yes,” Hanzo’s voice was briefly muffed before he raised his head out of the towel, “Just like you did with me, right? Brilliant.”

Genji stared at him, dumbfounded. “What? I didn’t forget about you, I-” his shoulders slumped as he realized what Hanzo was saying. “That’s different. You’re family.”

Hanzo looked right at him. “I _distinctively_ remember you saying that everyone on this base here is like _family_ to you and could be trusted.” he countered, folding the hand towel neatly, “Were you deceiving me?”

“Hanzo, no, but-”

“And didn’t you specifically mention that Baptiste was the man who saved my life and that you ‘owed him a solid’?” Hanzo asked, then pausing in thought. “You’re right. How dare he inconvenience you _once_ while he’s clearly struggling with something and pushing people away in fear like a dying animal? Forget him. That’s the perfect plan of action to pursue with absolutely no possible repercussions or downsides of any kind for any of you, right?”

Genji had slowly been hunching over in defeat as Hanzo talked, finally sighing once he was done. “Dammit.” he finally said, “You’re right.”

Hanzo hummed in acknowledgment, leaning back to double-check his handiwork in the mirror. Perfect, unsurprisingly.

Genji slid off of the bed. “I’m going to go talk to him one more time.” he said to Lucio and Hanzo, “Let’s not part for the night angry. At least try for some civil conversation. Want to come with, Lu?”

“I- Sure,” Lucio said as he climbed off of the bed, following after Genji. He paused in the doorway, turning around to look back at Hanzo.

“Nice to meet you?” he offered to the elder brother. The of them had still barely spoken to each other, but Lucio was finding it hard to hate the man the more he got to know him.

“Charmed,” Hanzo said drily. His eyes flicked up and down, looking Lucio over. “You’re the frog one he likes, right?”

“The frog one?” Lucio asked. Well, that was his logo, so probably. “Yeah?”

“Well, then what are you standing here for? My brother requested your assistance.” Hanzo asked, motioning towards the door. “ _Hop_ to it.”

Hanzo watched as Lucio raced out the door after Genji. Once he was alone, he could shake his head and roll his eyes at the situation. Love and relationships didn’t have to be so complicated. So much time could be saved if people just were more direct and honest with each other. Goodness.

Genji was standing outside of Baptiste’s door, with Lucio catching up to him thirty seconds later. The ninja was knocking on the door, listening for a response.

“Athena?” Genji finally asked the AI, “Is Jean-Baptiste Augustin in his room?”

“ _Yes, he is,_ ” she replied. “ _Would you like me to inform him of your presence?”_

“Yes, please,” Genji replied. “Tell him Lucio and I want to talk, and we won’t take no for an answer.”

It was quiet for a moment before Athena responded. _“Agent Augustin is currently indisposed at the moment. As you have top-level clearance, would you like me to unlock the door for you?”_

They exchanged a look. “Yes.” Genji finally decided. “Please do.”

Genji then looked over to Lucio. “He’s probably in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. We can wait in his room for him to exit.” he explained as the door in front of them unlocked with a click, “Now, remember, be calm and polite. We’re here to be nice, to make sure he still has people he can trust. Clear?”

“Clear,” Lucio replied, watching as Genji opened the door. His eyes were on Genji as he watched the ninja freeze in place. Before he could vocalize his question, he heard the sound of retching and coughing.

“Jean?” Genji said, quietly uttering the man’s name before he raced into the bedroom. Looking through the door, Lucio could see why.

Baptiste was on the floor, vomiting his guts out. There were pink piles on the carpet and overflowing his trashcan. His shirt had come off. It was also covered in the puke and… the other thing.

Genji was kneeling on the floor next to Baptiste. “Jean, can you hear me? Talk to me.” he was pleading. There was another retch in reply, then Jean began to struggle for air. He was choking.

Lucio raced into the room, instinctively slamming the door behind him, sliding on his knees next to Baptiste. He wrapped his arms around his middle and began to give him a Heimlich maneuver. Thank the lucky stars it worked.

Lucio wordlessly watched as more pink flew out of his mouth, some pieces floating down onto the wet wads. “What are those-?” he finally began to ask in horror and confusion.

Genji was brave enough to touch the piles, combing his fingers through the drier pieces and letting them fall through his fingers. 

“Petals. Flower petals,” he said quietly. Then with a gasp, he realized what was going on. “No. No no no no no.”

“No no no no no?” Lucio repeated, rubbing a hand between Jean’s shoulder blades. “No no no no no what?”

“Hanahaki.” Genji couldn’t believe the word that had left his lips.

Lucio was running out of patience. “Which is?” he asked exasperatedly.

“A flower disease. First discovered in Japan.” Genji explained unhelpfully. “I heard about it so many times while growing up, but I never thought-”

“What does it mean?”

“It means he’s dying because of a one-sided love.” Genji was struggling not to yell, “The flower blooms endlessly until that love is knowingly returned. He’s going to suffocate to death. Probably tonight.”

“I mean, do we get Angela-” Lucio cut himself off with a gasp, “No, she’s on a mission. What do we-?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know!” Genji said, panicked. “But this explains everything that’s going on with him. It affects so much of a person’s mind and body, I doubt he even knows what he’s been saying or doing.”

“How do we _fix_ him?” Lucio asked, pausing as he helped hold Jean up as another massive pile of petals forced its way out of his body.

“Love! His love has to be returned!” Genji hollered, “And we don’t know who-”

“It’s _you,_ man. It’s gotta be.” Lucio said. “He’s always looking over at you. He could _totally_ be in love with you.”

Genji’s eyes darted back and forth between Lucio and Baptiste. “I don’t-”

“Well, you might as well _find out.”_ Lucio told him, “Do the... love thing. Whatever it is. Now.”

Genji didn’t _know_ exactly how Hanahaki was supposed to be cured. He had heard the stories, but they were borderline fairytales. He didn’t know if there were any grains of truth to be found in the rumor mills of his youth.

He slipped a hand under Baptiste’s chin, propping him up with Lucio’s help, who was bracing Jean’s back against his front, and went in for a kiss. People in love kissed, right?

He leaned in, eyes desperately searching for any sign of life in Jean’s as he gently kissed him. But his stare stayed blank, merely letting Genji control the kiss. He offered nothing.

Genji pulled back, and without his lips pressed against Baptiste’s, Jean’s mouth fell open, petals spilling out. Genji watched in horror as they floated down to the ground. Dammit!

“I don’t… I don’t think it’s me,” he told Lucio. “I think it’s _you_.”

“Me?” Lucio asked, eyes flicking between Baptiste and Genji. “Do you really-?”

“I mean, you said he was looking at _me,_ but we’re always together. What if he was looking at _you_ the whole time?” Genji countered.

They didn’t have the time to debate it, really. No time to think. If whatever they came up with could save Jean from suffocating to death - something they both knew was one of his biggest fears - then they would do it.

Careful as he could with his shaking hands, Lucio grasped under Baptiste’s chin and turned his head to face him. Then he leaned in for a kiss of his own, following Genji’s cue.

It was an awkward angle, but he made it work. Parting Baptiste’s lips with his own, he kissed Jean. Closing his eyes, he prayed that it was doing something to help Baptiste.

He couldn’t lose him. Despite how much they had been fighting lately, Lucio still loved him. That’s why he had been so hurt by Baptiste’s attitude lately. Because it wasn’t the man he adored.

His eyes opened, tears spilling out. He looked at Genji through his damp eyes. _Had it changed anything?_ The silent question weighed heavily between them.

It was then that he noticed that Baptiste’s arm was extended forward, reaching towards Genji as he leaned back against Lucio. Was Lucio _not_ the one he wanted then?

“Which of us-?” he paused as he watched a curious look cross Genji’s tearing eyes. “Is it you or me or neither or-?”

“I can’t think of anyone else here he’s ever even talked to seriously.” Genji said, “Except for Jesse and Angela, but McCree mentioned something to me about how he and Jean were talking and Baptiste asked him about love and said there was a man he was interested in and said one of us might have a chance.”

Lucio felt his face grow red, “Even Jesse noticed?”

“Yes. So it could very well be you or me and- oh.” 

“Oh _what_?” Lucio asked. His heart couldn’t take much else right now.

“We’re always together,” Genji said quietly. “Always. It might not just be you or me, it-...”

Lucio caught on. _Oh_ indeed. “Both?” his eyes widened, “Do you think it could be both of us?”

“Yeah. Maybe?” Genji’s voice cracked as he tried to swallow his tears. “We might as well try, you know? If you’re okay with it? Because we’re running out of options and he’s not gonna last much longer.”

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.” Lucio sputtered, “Um, okay, so-... should I keep kissing his lips?”

Genji shrugged, hands gesturing his uncertainty about any of this. “Yes?” he said, now leaning forward, “Just… follow your heart? Make it enjoyable for both of you. His disoriented brain needs to be made aware of his affections being returned. I’ll work with you. _Go_.”

Without another word, Lucio resumed kissing Baptiste. His hand reached around and ran down the man’s bare chest. He felt Genji lean forward, sitting on all fours, as he kissed at Baptiste’s exposed neck and collarbone without putting any more pressure on him or Lucio. Lucio knew how well that mouth of Genji’s worked. If that didn’t bring Baptiste back to them, nothing would.

“Love you, man.” Lucio murmured between his kisses, “Come on back, Bap. Come on. Love you so much.”

It felt like the three of them sat there forever, like nothing was changing and that all was lost and that the last conversation they would ever have with Baptiste was treating a dying man like shit, but then something happened. Something that had Lucio’s heart pounding hard in his chest.

A soft moan left Baptiste’s throat and he began to kiss back. His hand reached back and awkwardly grasped the back of Lucio’s head. There was no strength in his push, Lucio could have pulled back if he wanted, but he let Jean have this. Maybe the physical contact was helping.

Genji’s mouth was nibbling along Baptiste’s collarbone when the man’s chest heaved with a strong cough. Petals left his mouth, but it was far fewer than before. This seemed to be working. They couldn’t stop now.

Jean had turned his head to cough out another mouthful of petals, so Genji pushed himself up and captured his now unoccupied lips once he was through. His clothed chest pressed against Baptiste’s bare one, hands now grasping his cheeks as he held Jean’s head in place as he gently kissed him. He knew how strong Lucio was, the small man could brace his core and support them both easily for a little while.

The kiss he received in return from Baptiste made his heart flutter. It was soft and warm, and this time he was kissing back. It was a far cry from the cold, lifeless lips he had been kissing just a few minutes ago.

“Charming man,” Genji crooned, pausing between his kisses to heap all the praise he could on Baptiste, “So beautiful.”

Jean coughed again, but it was deeper in his chest this time. Was that good? He was trying to clear things out again.

He gagged, falling forward against Genji as he spat up another clump of petals. Even if they had “cured” the Hanahaki, which Genji was feeling like they were getting close to, he was probably going to be stuck evacuating petals from his body for the next few days. Poor man.

Genji supported Jean, as the man had no strength left. Lucio was rubbing him between his shoulders, patting lightly like you would an infant.

“Is it working?” Lucio asked nervously. He couldn’t see the life coming back into Jean’s eyes like Genji could.

“Yeah, it’s working,” Genji assured him, helping Jean sit upright once the latest bout had ended. 

He then carefully guiding Jean’s head up, leaning over so that he could meet his eyes.

“Hey, Baptiste. Beautiful Baptiste,” he hummed, searching his eyes for some kind of acknowledgment. His stare was tired and confused, unfocused too. How had Genji not seen how bad he was until now? Jean had been so good at hiding it. “Are you tired, Jean?”

“Mmm.” Jean grunted uncertainly before he grunted certainly, “Mmh hmm.”

“You are?” Genji asked quietly.

“Mmh hmm.” This time he nodded, the motion so subtle that Genji would have missed it if he hadn’t been holding his head.

“Okay,” Genji said, carefully shifting into a crouch as he looped an arm over Baptiste’s shoulders. “Okay, let’s get you to bed.”

Lucio didn’t have to be asked to help. He was scooting upright, helping balancing Baptiste instantly. However, he had a question that he couldn’t hold in.

“Is he okay to just put in bed?”

“I think the growth’s stopped. We stopped it.” Genji said, leaning Baptiste against him, “The seed’s dying now. He’s only to get better from here. Inside or outside?”

“So the flowers are all gone then?” Lucio asked uncertainly. 

“No. He’ll be coughing them up all night.” Genji explained, carefully pulling the loose blanket on Jean’s unmade bed down, “No more new ones, though.”

“So we’re just gonna put him in bed and call it a night?”

“Absolutely not. There’s still a chance he could choke, but he needs the sleep. He’s exhausted.” Genji replied, helping guide Baptiste onto the mattress. The Haitian fell onto the bed like a stone. “You can go to bed if you want. _I_ , however, am not going to be sleeping tonight.”

“No way.” Lucio said with a shake of his head, “There is _no_ way I’m leaving until I know Bap is okay.”

“And I didn’t think you were going to.” Genji assured him, motioning towards the bed, “So… inside of the mattress, or outside? I figured we were going to lay next to him tonight to make sure that he doesn’t need anything, but also to assure him and his Hanahaki that we _do_ love him and that it wasn’t all a dream.”

So _that’s_ what he had meant by inside or outside. “Inside.” Lucio replied, “I’ll get squooshed against the wall, I don’t mind.”

Genji motioned to the mattress again, “Be my guest, squooshio.”

Lucio carefully crawled over Baptiste, slotting himself neatly in the slim gap between him and the wall. Genji lay on the piece of mattress left on Baptiste’s other side, arm wrapping over his chest so that he could monitor for consistent breathing.

Genji and Lucio had nearly witnessed Baptiste dying in front of them tonight, after a stupid fight that none of them should have picked. Despite Jean nearing being in the clear, neither man was going to be sleeping well at all tonight.

Baptiste, however, slept like a baby for the first time in _weeks._ He had been coughing up petals all night, waking up every few hours to spit up. Just like a baby. 

Unsurprisingly, he still awoke tired - a poor night’s sleep wasn’t going to recharge his exhausted self - and had to motivate himself to open his eyes.

He was staring at the ceiling, dreading having to face another day, when the sound of the blanket’s shifting caught his attention. If he wasn’t moving, then-?

He turned his head and found himself face to face with Lucio.

“Hi there,” Lucio said, slipping a hand under his head and grinning at Baptiste.

Baptiste’s brow furrowed and he gazed upon Lucio’s form with wide eyes. “Hello,” he said hoarsely, feeling positively confuzzled.

“How are ya’ feeling?” Lucio asked. The man looked exhausted.

“I- Good?” Baptiste paused, gasping when he realized. He actually did feel good. Sure his chest ached and his throat burned, his head hurt and his back was sore, but… for the first time in a long time, he felt good.

He took another test gasp, inhaling as deeply as he could. Sure, he ached a bit, but he could breathe.

He could breathe. He could suck in as much air as he wanted with, whenever he pleased. God, he wanted to cry.

“What-?” he _was_ crying now, out of happiness, unable to hold it in at all, and his chest bobbed as he held in a sob. He could barely talk. “What-?”

“Shhh…” said a new voice. Before Jean could turn his head and see who was talking to him, a slim hand slipped under his jaw and turned his head. Lips were on his before he could think.

He mindlessly kissed back, overwhelmed by everything that was going on, before he snapped back to the present and pulled back. He found himself looking into Genji’s kind but tired eyes, a soft, crooked smile on his lips. God, Jean had missed seeing that smile.

“Breathe, it’s okay, Jean,” Genji said after he pulled back from the kiss. “Calm. Shh. Don’t make yourself sick, Jean, you beautiful man. You’re okay now.”

Despite how Genji tried, a hot tear spilled out of Jean’s eye and rolled down his cheek. “Wait. Why are you two-?” he swallowed thickly, “What happened? I can’t remember… Last night… someone was angry. Did I make you-?”

“It doesn’t matter. That wasn’t you talking.” Genji assured him. Lucio’s hands rubbed along his bare back comfortingly. He was still very confused. “It was the Hanahaki and-”

“You know? You both know?” he asked worriedly before he realized, “...Is that why I can breathe now? Which of you-”

“Both,” Lucio answered. That explained why he couldn’t decide which he loved more. He loved them both. No wonder he had been so confused and unable to make up his mind. He hadn’t realized that loving them both would be allowed, he had just assumed there was a limit of one love at a time per person imposed by the heavens themselves.

Baptiste turned his head, now looking towards Lucio. “So did we, last night… you know…” he didn’t want to ask the question, especially because he couldn’t remember last night and it would have been his first time. “Uh-”

“We kissed,” Genji answered.

“ _Lots_ of kissing,” Lucio added coyly.

“But no farther than that. You couldn’t consent.” Genji explained, “You had taken your shirt off yourself. All we did was scream, panic, kiss you, and somehow that worked out.”

Baptiste frowned as he heard Genji talk. “Wait.” he said, “All I had to do was ask you two to kiss me and this stupid flower disease would have stopped?”

“It wouldn’t have stopped anything without the feelings being reciprocated,” Genji told him.

Baptiste’s mouth moved wordlessly as he realized what Genji was saying. “So does that mean that you two _do,_ um, actually maybe possibly want to consider the possibility of maybe kissing me again?” he asked awkwardly.

“Of course.” Genji said, hand reaching over and running down Baptiste’s chest, “So it _was_ both of us?”

“I think- yes.” Baptiste replied, “I was spending so long trying to figure out which of you it was… it must be both?”

“Are you not sure?” Lucio asked, scooting closer and nuzzling his nose against the crook of Baptiste’s neck.

“I… didn’t realize that loving two different people was… allowed?” he finished timidly, “That doesn’t seem fair.”

Genji laughed warmly.

“Don’t blame _us_ you have too much love to go around.” he said, encouraging Jean to look his way once more with the gentle touch of his hand, finger booping him affectionately on the nose, “Tell me, Baptiste, were you picturing yourself between the two of us?”

Baptiste gulped. “I-”

“Pushed to the brink as we ravish you?” he continued, “Filled from both ends?”

Baptiste’s face was growing hotter as Genji spoke. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “I never thought past the first stage of _asking_ for attention, let alone demanding it.”

“Would you like some of that attention now?” Lucio asked flirtatiously. “Because I think both of us want to make sure that you know how loved you are.” 

Genji nodded in agreement. “We’ve both liked you for a long time, Jean.” he added, finger trailing along Jean’s bicep, “In the mood to be spoiled? Any way you want...

***Baptiste wriggled at the touch. Well, considering that last-night Baptiste had somehow hooked up with two gorgeous men, next-day Baptiste might as well admit something.

“I think I am, but I’ve never been with anyone before.” he told him, “I don’t, and can’t, really offer much in return. I’m, uh, _inexperienced_ in the bedroom.”

He saw Genji and Lucio exchange a look over him. “Is that so?” Lucio finally asked, “Really?”

“How’s a man as pretty as you never been fucked before?” Genji asked, his hand now splaying wide over Baptiste’s bicep. “Had your cock sucked before, Jean?”

“Nope,” Baptiste said with a shake of his head. “But there’s a first time for everything, right?”

He watched Genji’s tongue dart out over his lips, eyes drifting south towards Jean’s crotch. He could feel himself getting hard under Genji’s intense stare.

“Right,” Genji said, carefully slipping off of the bed. From his knees, he reached up and encouraged Jean to roll onto his side, looking up at him eagerly. “That was permission, yes?”

Baptiste licked his lips nervously and excitedly. “Yes.” he replied, “All the permission either of you needs.”

Genji’s eyebrows shot up and in a flash, his hands were on Baptiste’s sweatpants, slowly working them down. As soon as Baptiste’s member was freed, Genji was leaning forward, tongue swirling on the tip.

Lucio, having also been given permission to act, turned Jean’s head back towards him. He surged forward, catching Jean’s lips with his own and slipping his tongue into his mouth.

Genji then ran his tongue alongside the underside of Baptiste’s shaft, then slowly starting to take his full, girthy length into his mouth. The ninja hummed contentedly, groaning in bliss as Baptise threaded his fingers into his hair, holding him in place as he tried, and failed, to resist the urge to roll his hips into Genji’s eager mouth.

He and Lucio had to part for air, and the younger man grinned a hazy, blissful smile. “He’s good with his mouth, isn’t he?” Lucio said, nipping at Baptiste’s ear as his hands began to trail to Baptiste’s chest. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands.”

One of his hands latched onto Jean’s chest, massaging his muscular pec, thumb flicking at his nipple. As soon as it pebbled, he grasped it between fingers and carefully rolled it.

“You should have him suck at your chest.” Lucio advised in a low whisper, grinding his hardening penis against Jean’s behind, “It’s, like, _sinful._ ”

Overwhelmed at all the sensations, Baptiste felt his body tightening. He moaned loudly, only getting muffled as Lucio reclaimed his mouth and began to make out with him again. His tongue ran along the underside of his teeth, finally mingling with Baptiste’s tongue.

Genji had set his own pace, slowing down as he felt Baptiste tense. This is what he had meant by making the good things last, wasn’t it? Goddammit. His mouth was so hot and tight and Baptiste knew he wasn’t going to last.

Words weren’t working for him, and even if they were he wouldn’t have pulled away from Lucio to speak. It caught all three of them by surprise when he finally came, shouting into the kiss, arching into Lucio’s hand, and bucking against Genji’s mouth. His vision went white for a moment, and when he came back to earth he was panting.

All he had done was lay there but he was so tired. It was a roller-coaster kind of high, though, the kind that created a rush that terrified you as it was happening but sent you racing right back to the front of the line to ride it again.

“Oh- Oh God. Oh- I- Wow.” Baptiste’s brain wasn’t working. It was down for maintenance at the moment, because of the spill that had just happened in an aisle on the lower level.

“More?” Genji asked excitedly, wiping at his lips. There wasn’t a drop on his face. He must have swallowed it all.

“Do you want to keep going?” Lucio added, “Don’t want to scare you off, Bap.”

“Yeah, yes. Can we?” Jean rambled in reply, “Because I would love for you two to keep going.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Genji said with a grin. As he leaned forward, mouth opening up as he prepared for a second blow job, a sound made him stop.

***Baptiste’s stomach growled loudly, making all the men pause mid-motion.

Genji sat back on his heels, pulling back away from Baptiste. “Wait a moment. You haven’t eaten properly in days.” he said, slowly climbing to his feet, “Let’s get you some food, Jean. Are you hungry?”

Baptiste, catching up with the fact that playtime was over, blinked at the question. Was he hungry? Hadn’t Genji just heard his-

Oh. _Oh!_ He was hungry. He had an appetite again. He actually wanted to go eat food.

And if the Hanahaki seed was actually dead, then maybe he could even taste it too! He had missed food so much.

“Yeah, I’m hungry,” he said, sitting up as he pulled his pants back on. “Really hungry.”

“I’d imagine,” Genji said with a laugh, positively thrilled with the news. “I’ll make you a proper Asian breakfast… or lunch, rather. It’s a tad bit late.”

“Well, I’ll fix up a proper Portuguese dinner,” Lucio added, not wanting to be outdone. “Gotta support the support, you know? Take care of you here like you take care of us on the field.”

“That all sounds fantastic.” Baptiste said as he stood, adding with a tired grin, “...Would you two want the Haitian for dessert?”

“That all depends on how the Haitian feels by tonight. I’m sure he’s going to be rather tired for a few days.” Genji told him, retrieving a clean shirt for Baptiste to wear out of the room.

“Yeah, he’s right. In fact, we should let you relax for a while. We’ll have plenty of time to figure out how this threesome’s gonna breakdance in the bedroom.” Lucio admitted, pushing “So, how about this. What do you want to do tonight to relax, Bap? Name it. Anything at all.”

“Anything, huh?” Baptiste said, thinking as he slowly buttoned on the shirt Genji had handed him, “Let me think… I know. I’ve got it.”

“Spill,” Lucio said, crossing his arms as he waited for the answer.

“I think-” Baptiste began, “-There’s nothing more that I would like this evening than to go to the beach you two talked about and watch the sunset with you.”

Genji and Lucio exchanged an unreadable look, shrugging, shaking their heads, and smiling at each other in a way that Jean found concerning. He didn’t have long to worry, though, before he was being dragged out of his bedroom.

“We can do that!” Lucio said brightly, “I’ll pack a cooler… gas up the buggy…”

“I’ll make sure we have clean towels to sit on.” Genji added, wrapping an arm around Baptiste’s shoulders, “It’ll be gorgeous! But chilly… I think. We should bring jackets. And pants. I’m guessing.”

“Yup,” Lucio said as he grabbed Jean’s hand and tugged him along. “That’s a good guess!”

Something about the way they were talking gave Baptiste pause, but he pushed it aside. If it _really_ mattered, they would tell him. He was sure.

Why spend time worrying when he had been given a second chance at living? He didn’t know how he had bumbled into a relationship with Genji and Lucio, but he had no idea how much he loved being in love until now.

He had a handsome world-famous, big-hearted DJ on his left and a strong, gorgeous, and caring ninja to his right.

And for the first time in his life, Baptiste was thrilled to be caught right in the middle of it all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> Kudos, comments, and feedback are always super appreciated!
> 
> Please let me know if you feel that a topic was misrepresented! I try to do my research, but this was all new content for me to write and I did my best to ensure the best representation that I could, but if I'm wrong I want to know so I can make it right! I love trying new things, learning, and writing fics that me, and I guess other people, want to read.
> 
> Questions, comments, or concerns? Hit me up on here or on my Twitter: https://twitter.com/KittenzCaboodle
> 
> Have a great day! Stay awesome!


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